Page 108 of Two for Joy

Romeo opened the gate, then ran along the road to get to the Porsche.

He prayed it still worked after wedging it between the grass verge, and a thorn bush. It thankfully started, and after a few wheel spins, and squeals, Romeo managed to reverse back on the road.

He put his foot down, aiming to get as far from Hatton as he could.

The roads were empty that early in the morning, Romeo made good mileage towards his destination. He switched the radio on, waiting to hear something other than Chad’s devastated calls for him echoing in his head.

The Porsche guzzled through fuel at an alarming rate. Romeo feared it wouldn’t make the journey, but when he saw the sign to his destination, he let out a relieved sigh.

Chad would forgive him one day.

****

His destination was the coast, the high cliffs of Dover to be exact. A hotspot, but not for the sea or sand, or sight, but the drop. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it before, ending it all, but the monster in him felt cheated by such thoughts. The one person the monster forbid him to kill was himself.

Until Chad came along.

He stopped the Porsche right at the edge, then opened the door to hear the crashing waves below. The sound reminded him of harsh breathing, struggling, rasping. He stared ahead at the endless darkness, and his mind sunk into the past.

The last conversation he’d ever have with his mother. She lay in her bed, frail from illness. She knew death was upon her, and her last wish had been to die at home, in the bed she shared with her husband. Romeo had pinned pictures to the walls on her instruction. The three of them together, years gone by displayed around them.

Romeo looked after her right to the end. When she could barely open her eyes, he described the photos to her. When she could no longer feed herself, he did. He helped her to the bathroom, then back into bed, as often as she needed. It was obvious to him she was in pain, no matter what meds she was prescribed she was always hurting inside and out. The doctor had told him she was hours away, but she held on for days. She wanted to let go, to stop fighting, but she didn’t.

Air whistled out of her, fed to her by an oxygen tank by the bed. The only sound in the room as they sat together, waiting. They’d been waiting for what felt like forever. The monster was getting impatient, gnawing at his mind, knowing this was its only obstacle, and it was taking forever.

Romeo’s heart thumped hard in his chest when he realized, she was hanging on for him, in pain for him, and he didn’t deserve that kind of self-sacrificing love.

He took her hand, and leaned close to the bed, voice ghosting her cheek. “It’s okay to let go.”

She swallowed hard, and stiffly shook her head.

“Why not?”

Her lips quivered as she spoke. “You’ll be alone.”

Romeo looked down at their hands, his compared to hers, pale, blue tinged. She’d lost weight, her bones jutted out, her hair had thinned. She hadn’t opened her eyes in days, her body was shutting down.

“I’m going to be all right.” He said.

“Promise?” she wheezed.

“I promise.”

She shook her head, the smallest of movements, as if to say she didn’t believe Romeo. He pulled a pained expression, pulsed his fingers around hers, and tried a different approach.

“Father’s waiting for you. He’s been waiting for a long time.”

“I know.”

“So go to him. Find him, and just like you told me, don’t ever let him go.”

“Leave you behind?”

“Yes. I’ll be fine.”

“One day you’ll find us again.”

Romeo didn’t know what lay beyond the dark veil of death, but he was certain he wouldn’t end up in the same place as them.

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