Page 58 of Diamond in the Rough

“It should’ve been me."

“Don’t talk like that.”

“But it should have.”

Sam took the pan off the stove, then joined Jake on the sofa. “Whatever trouble he was in—”

“I was the trouble. I was who they should’ve burned to death. They got the wrong guy.”

“Right, I’m packing you a bag.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re coming home with me, no arguments about it.”

****

The phone buzzed in Jake’s ears, the irritating unanswered rings that he heard in his sleep. Even when he was awake and not attached to his phone, he heard the ringing in the back of his head, the constant desire to be answered, to connect with someone that could make sense of what had happened, but no one was there. Maddox wasn’t replying, and when Jake tried Tom, his phone was off.

Carl had died for him, and the guilt was eating him up.

Jake clutched his chest and struggled to breathe. He imagined smoke clogging his throat, so thick it ran down into his lungs like syrup. He felt heat, so hot his flesh shrivelled and split. The orange glow so intense he couldn’t picture another colour in his mind.

“Breathe, Jake…”

It was Maddox’s voice, but he wasn’t there. Jake turned to see Sam beside him, encouraging him to breathe slower.

“It’s a panic attack.”

Jake nodded and took the glass of water Sam held out for him. He gulped it down, and the constricting feeling in his neck lessened. He’d traded his battered sofa at home for Sam’s leather one. His house smelled of allspice, and family photographs were pinned all over the walls. Sam’s children and his grandchildren.

“I shouldn’t be here,” Jake said.

“You’re here because you need someone—”

“And because I’m that pathetic. I have no one, only my boss.”

Sam pressed his thin lips together and set his stern gaze on Jake. “I’ve always looked out for you.”

“I know, but I don’t deserve it. Everyone looks out for me, but why? I’m not worth it.”

“We’ve known each other a long time. I care about you.”

Jake turned away. “I’m a disaster. I can’t risk this.”

“What?”

Jake gestured to Sam. “This.”

He couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to Sam, the one person comforting him, the one person who’d been consistent in his life.

Jake tried to get to his feet, but Sam yanked him back down. “Sit.”

“But—”

“No buts.”

Jake bit his lip. “All I can think about is how much pain he would’ve been in.”

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