Page 55 of The Freshman

Alfie rubbed his messy fingerstogether, shame and guilt surging in his body. “I shouldn’t havedone that.”

Nate shushed him gently. “It’sokay—”

“It’s not okay,” hewhined. “I’m letting this happen, and I don’t know how to stopit.”

“Don’t stopit.”

Alfie pulled the phone away from hisear and disconnected the call. The whiskey, it was the whiskeysfault, had to be. He trudged up to his bed and after a quick cleanup, fell face first on the mattress. He hated whiskey, and he hatedNate.

****

Alfie walked into work on Monday withhis head bowed. Looks of concern were shot his way, and he wastempting to turn and run. They knew what he had done with Nate,knew he had crossed an unforgivable line.

Marie tapped his shoulder. “You’relooking better.”

“I feel likeshit.”

“Tell Ryan. He might giveyou a few days off to recover.”

Alfie frowned, and Marie gestured tothe bags under his eyes. The strange looks from the staff suddenlymade sense, but he didn’t feel relieved.

“The nose isfine.”

“Then why do you feelshit?”

He doubted saying he had phone sexwith an inmate would’ve gotten him sympathy, and just shrugged asan answer instead.

When Ryan reported the day’s events,Alfie tried not to react when he mentioned the new inmate on G-winghad been assaulted. Gary Austin’s nose had been broken, the onlyinjury on his body. Alfie knew Nate must have sent a message acrossto G-wing, but Ryan blamed the assault on Gary being new andrubbing the inmates the wrong way.

Ryan finished his droning talk bypointing at Alfie’s black eyes. “Welcome to the club. It stillhurt?”

Alfie shrugged. “More numb thananything.”

Ryan clapped. “Good, be thankful itwas some arsehole from G-wing and not Nate.” He strolled from theoffice with the rest of dayshift following.

Henry nudged Alfie with his shoulder.“Hey, Alfie, he’s right. Nate would’ve nutted you then bit off yournose.”

“I doubt that.”

“Don’t doubt it. He didfar worse.”

Alfie swallowed uncomfortably andlowered his gaze.

“Us and them,” Henrymumbled, “and Karma chooses us, sometimes via them.”

He flicked his chin out, and Alfieturned to follow his gaze. Gary was being escorted past them intoG-wing. There was a nose splint on his face, and his eyes wereblack and puffy. He flashed a look toward the office, then coweredand hunched his shoulders.

“Karma,” Henryrepeated.

Alfie spent most of the shift staringat the computer screen, open on Nate’s file. He thought ofscenarios where the triple murder was justified. Maybe it was atragic accident, or maybe he was drunk and didn’t know what he wasdoing. Not justifiable, but understandable. How could Nate be evillike Henry said, the man who demanded to know he was all right, whopromised if Alfie was drunk he wouldn’t take advantage of thesituation. They were words though. There was every chance he wasbeing manipulated by Nate, and he was too weak to stopit.

When roll-call arrived, Alfie grimacedas he tapped Nate’s door. He tensed, anticipating a smug laugh or aseductive purr.

“I’ve got something foryou.”

Alfie rocked back on his heels.“What?”

A piece of paper poked through theedge of the hatch, and Alfie quickly grabbed it. It was anotherpicture of himself, only his face, but the missing body part wasn’this lips, but his nose. He exhaled slowly and sagged hisshoulders.

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