“She’s leaving,” I say to him, tears breaking free. Ethan grabs me by the waist and pulls me against his chest. I’m free to cry in his arms, so I just let loose. I can’t believe she’s leaving. I can’t believe she’sgone.I didn’t appreciate our last bottle of wine together the way I would have if I knew…
Ethan strokes my hair as I lay my head against his chest and he lets me cry out all the pain. I’m so grateful to have him but… this still hurts. Part of me thinks it always will.
* * *
Thirty-Three
Ethan
Idon’t know how to make Amanda feel better. I drove her down to Mallory’s safe house, but there was nothing for us to find. She’s gone, and from what Amanda says, she doesn’t want to be found. This leaves Amanda feeling… unmoored. She laid the problem out to me clearly. Without Mallory, there’s no private practice. Her dream? Crushed. I want to fix it but… how?
There are limited places I can go for advice and with the fight against my urges to gamble getting more challenging, the only place I can think of is Mulligans. After eating Amanda’s pussy in a failed attempt to lift her spirits, I set her up with blankets, a bar of chocolate and her favorite guilty pleasure movie, Tyler Perry’sDiary of a Mad Black Woman, before I head out.
This is low… getting advice from my brother. But he flew out to Boston because mom mentioned I got my ass into trouble with Amanda and apparently, the eldest brother in the family needs looking after these days. At least Owen is married, so he hassomepotential to help me out.
By the time I get to Mulligans, two empty half-pint glass mugs sit next to Owen and he’s playing blackjack with Odhran Murray and the bartender. He chases them off when he sees me walk into the bar, so I only exchange hasty greetings with Darragh’s youngest brother before I order a Guinness. When in Rome…
“How’s the old lady?” Owen asks. Even fielding questions about her makes me tense and nervous. I grunt in response, waiting for the Guinness before I commit to an answer.
Tonight’s bartender works quickly, sliding a warm, foamy Guinness down the length of the bar towards me. I nod appreciatively and take the first sip before answering Owen.
“Depressed. I’m not good with women.”
Owen laughs. “You’re full of shit.”
“I’m not.”
“Everywhere we go, women hang all over you. That’s how it’s always been.”
Owen doesn’t get it. Just because a lot of women are interested in sleeping with me doesn’t mean I have the skills for… something real. Like what Wyatt has with Anna. Or what he has with Vickie.
“Amanda’s different.”
Those are all the words I can bring to the surface while sober.
“Then marry her,” Owen says. “Simple.”
“It’s not simple, Owen. Amanda is the perfect woman.”
“Are you stupid?” Owen asks, fidgeting with a blue and white poker chip. Don’t know where he got it from and I don’t want to ask.
“Yes.”
I drink more, because if this is the kind of stupid ass help Owen plans to give me, I will need to get shit faced as soon as possible.
“If she’s the perfect woman, marry her quickly.”
“She’s perfect, Owen. And I’m… this person. Not even good enough to lead the club in dad’s eyes.”
“Is that what she thinks?”
“Who the fuck knows what women think?”
“Have you tried talking to her?” Owen asks with a stupid look on his face. I swear I want to smack the shit out of him sometimes.
“No. She’s a woman… I shouldn’t be frustrating her with my… emotions.”
Owen laughs. “You are so fucked.”