Page 71 of Biker's Tribute: Property of Bear

He doesn’t reply. I press my head against the door.Am I crazy?

Ethan thinks that I’m pushing him away because of a sense of superiority. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s just…we’re so different.And it doesn’t make sense how much chemistry we have. He’s not progressive at all. He speaks in growls and grunts. He gambles. He drinks. He rides a bike.

But I feel so fucking loved when I’m with him. Making love to him taps into a part of me that I used to think of as completely dusted over. He made me feel like I wasn’t going to just dry up and wither into old age without touching a man again. Like there was a chance at adventure in the world.

I care about my career and what I built. Of course, I do. But that doesn’t make me better than Ethan, and I wouldneversee him as too beneath me when he’s treated me as well as he could considering the circumstances. I didn’t trust him at first but… time has changed that. Most guys would have ghosted me by now and made some bullshit excuse about “connecting with their higher self”, which I learned is code for “pursuing their dating app fueled sex addiction”.

He’s different. He’s special. He might be a regular, corn-fed country boy but… he’s more to me than any other man. I don’t think he would have ever worked out as a patient, really. But he was right about one thing – we can heal each other. It hasn’t happened yet, but I can feel him healing me. Healing my cynicism. Healing my feelings of despair about love.

I don’t know what to make of those feelings and I don’t know how to talk about them, but I would have never hurt Ethan if I knew he cared so much.

I have to center myself again, but I withdraw from the door and retreat to the kitchen. Mostly because I left my phone there, and I immediately need to text my best friend about Ethan’s weird ass comment. If I get the answer from Mallory directly, I’ll give Ethan time to simmer down and show him that I’m not “Doctor Denial”. I just need time.

I text Mallory and she responds in seconds.

Mallory: I have a secret?

Me: I don’t know. He’s crazy? I’m a magnet for crazy men.

Mallory: LOL

Mallory: True.

Me: He locked me out of the bedroom.

Mallory: Asshole!

Me: But there are no secrets, right?

I see those three dots for a long time. Averylong time.

Mallory: It depends.

Me: ???

Her response twists my throat into a knot.

Mallory: Can you come over?

Icando whatever I want. But I’ve never been to Mallory’s new place. She moved after the office situation. Her response isn’t a direct “no”. You notice these little details the more you talk to people and help them unpack their past traumas and current conflicts.

Now, I’m dying to know what Mallory is hiding, what Ethan knows, and how this connects to the showdown in my office. Was it literallyluckthat Ethan was there? Was I really the target? Was Mallory?

Me:

Send me the address.

* * *

Twenty-Six

Ethan

She’s gone. I crack before dinner because I miss her and I’m aching to check in on my favorite pot-bellied pig. Or look in on a quick online poker game. I fight the urge by drinking a beer and angrily re-reading Amanda’s note.

At Mallory’s tonight. I’ll be back.

She won’t come back. I acted like an immature pig. I should have been more specific. Now, she’s gone straight to Mallory, exactly who I warned her against.Fuck.I’m an idiot and Wyatt or Owen would have handled this much better.

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