“This is your house,” I say, trying to force my neutral-therapist-voice when I’m truly surprised.

“Best thing I ever won gambling,” he said. “Played for it when I was twenty-five. Pot bellied pig race at the state fair.”

I fight the urge to ask him what would have happened if he lost instead of won. I can’t deny that “winning” a house this big would make anyone jump for joy, regardless of the potential downsides.

“It’s enormous.”

“No separate bedrooms,” Ethan says. “Didn’t plan on you coming and I only have one room made up.”

I throw him a knowing look.

“I can put sheets on a fresh bed myself,” I tell him. “No need for us to share now that we’re off the road.”

“You’re killing me, doc.”

“I’m just trying to be practical.”

“What’s practical about me having to crawl back to a cold ass bed after eating your pussy every night?”

He registers the smile on my face with a booming, masculine laugh. This man laughs at me so much that it makes me want to throw the helmet at him. I roll my eyes and Ethan takes the helmet from me.

“Front door code is my birthday. 0415.”

“Makes sense.”

“What does?”

“That you’re an annoying ass Aries.”

Ethan laughs again. “I don’t know what that means, but we can discuss it inside over dinner.”

“Who says I’m cooking you dinner?”

“You’re not,” he says. “All I have in there are frozen waffles. I’ll get us some takeout… then we can keep fighting until you let me between your legs again.”

“Ethan…”

“You’re stuck here, doc. So… get used to it.”

He turns pink, gets closer to me, then before I know it, the giant bear of a man plants a shy kiss on my lips. How can he feel nervous about kissing me when last night he had his tongue deep inside me? He pulls away, the redness deepening.

“I like you, Amanda. I didn’t expect to like you, but I do. And… I didn’t choose the way we met, but I don’t regret it. Even if it almost got my ass killed.”

Ethan is so earnest that it scares me. We haven't traveled together that long and while I can't deny the immediate emotional and physical response my body has to Ethan's. He's physically handsome and the things he can do with that tongue force me to question all my morals and ethics.

But I can't return any of his feelings. I haven't sat with my feelings long enough and... I can't jump off the deep end into "love" or any type of relationship with a man after all the therapy I've been through and all of my education about healthy relationships.

Can I ever have a healthy relationship with this man? He might have justifications for kidnapping me, but the truth remains... he violated my personhood. We started off on the entirely wrong foot. My feelings are... not to be trusted with a man like this or with a man who violates every rational thought in my head.

I don't feel like myself around him. I feel like a woman on an adventure when before him... the biggest adventures I had were staying up late to study for my board licensure exams.

"I'll see you inside, Ethan," I offer him with a warm smile, which doesn't make up for the fact that I leave his statement hanging in the muggy Missouri air between us.

He grunts and proceeds to fuss with the bike while I walk towards the giant carriage house. I sigh as I stop in front of the keypad and ask myself... what is my life?

Should I make an effort to call Mallory again? Or Keyshawn? Do I really just open this door and walk into a life with this man? My hands move to the keypad ahead of my brain, making the choice. 0-4-1-5. The door pops open, and the house is black.

I glance over my shoulder to find Ethan obsessively fussing with the bike, dragging a large black tarp-looking thing to cover it up.