Page 31 of Biker's Tribute: Property of Bear

"Fine," Deborah says. "Amanda, how did you meet Ethan? He's never brought home a doctor before. Mostly floozies."

"MOM!"

She laughs. "I wiped your ass, Ethan. I'm not afraid of you."

I laugh into my coffee so Ethan doesn't notice, but he senses. I know he senses.

"I'm going to call Darragh," he grunts. "Don't talk to each other. Don't scheme. Don't plot."

I relax more once I'm alone with Deborah. Ethan was lowkey bringing the mood down.

"Did Ethan tell you I have cancer?"

She registers the surprise. "No."

Deborah smiles to ease the tension between us, but I can't help but feel my heart breaking. She doesn't look sick -- many people don't -- but to carry on a brave face in such circumstances instead of sulking around...

"Oh honey, don't look like that," Deborah says, taking her glasses off her forehead and setting them on the counter. "But if something happens to me... I worry about Ethan."

I flashback to the man at Cumberland Farms and suppress an inappropriate smirk. Not to mention the man he shot in my office. I'm more worried about the men Ethan comes into contact with than Ethan.

I pause, using strategic silence to allow her time to speak. Deborah sighs and fidgets with the glasses.

"He's rough around the edges, but he's just a sensitive little boy deep down."

This man dislocated a shoulder earlier today, but I keep that to myself and listen.

"He could use a woman's touch."

"We aren't together."

She smiles and then laughs. "Can I be honest with you, Amanda?"

I'm glad she stops calling me Dr. Yancey. Introducing myself that way became a force of habit once I got my credentials. You have to let the people know that you slaved for those letters.

"Yes. Sure."

"You're here with Ethan and I'm guessing you came from Boston. If you came this far with a Shaw man, it's a matter of time."

"He made it clear to me that he isn't attracted to black women "

"He made that clear to you?" Deb asks, her face narrowing. She looks a little embarrassed, which endears me to her. From my job, I know that kids can end up a lot worse than their parents. I also can't discount Deb's potential as a source of information about Ethan and how to get under his skin.

"I'm not offended," I respond. "He sort of... I guess kidnapped me? Saved my life?"

Deb looks downright worried. "I hope he didn't touch you inappropriately. I had to have this conversation with Wyatt."

From context clues, Wyatt must be Ethan's brother.

"He didn't touch me," I reassure her. "And he won't. But he also won't tell me when I can go back to Boston or get back to my life."

"Did you have a boyfriend in that life? I can tell you're not a mother, no offense."

"None taken..."

But I am at that age where people think it's "weird" that you don't have a kid. Listen, I looked at how the cards laid out in front of me. I could choose to get pregnant by some guy, or go to graduate school and put a roof over my own head -- forever. I chose grad school and even if I want to find love, I don't regret my choices over popping out a baby for the asshole I dated when I was twenty-five. Yuck.

I had growing up to do first and if growing up means you can't find love anymore... this world is in a sorry ass state.

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