Page 87 of King

I don’t know what to do.

Her big, brown eyes are full of hope as she stares up at me.

I brush her silky hair from her face and let it spill onto the pillow behind her. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life - it’s that the beautiful things are often the most deadly.

* * *

I wake up long before the sun rises and make my way downstairs, grateful for the quiet moment that allows me to think clearly, without anyone needing anything from me.

As usual, I leave the lights off, preferring to move around in the dark. It’s more peaceful this way.

The coffee smells incredible and I lean with my back against the kitchen counter, sipping it, lost in thought.

“Dad.” Santino’s voice is strained and quiet.

“Hey, kid.” I say. We haven’t been getting on lately. To be really honest, I’ve missed him deeply. He has always been closest to me - my eldest. The man who will take over after I’ve gone. “What’s up? How are you?” I ask.

He gets a cup down and makes himself a coffee too. I can see there is something on his mind.

“Are all woman only put on this earth to cause us pain?” He asks.

“What?” I say, confused. “Your mother was?—”

“My mother left us. She left us to suffer without her.”

“Santino don’t say that. She would have given the world to stay and watching you become a man.”

“She gave up her life—” he mutters. “And now, you pretend to be in love but the woman sharing your bed is evil. She’s a liar and a manipulator and you refuse to see it.”

“Santino, you’ll understand one day, when you fall in love. When you meet a girl who steals your heart.”

“Actually, I wanted to tell you,” he sighs, and my chest tightens. His eyes giving away the seriousness of what he wants to say next.

“You can tell me anything.” I assure him.

“I’m studying to become a Bishop. I will never fall in love, dad. I won’t put myself through that. It’s not the path I’m meant to walk.”

My first reaction is a burst of laughter. My son? A man of God? It’s ridiculous. He’s teasing me.

But then I realize he’s never been more serious in his life and I trip over my words trying to recover.

“Santino, why, are you sure, why, I don’t understand. You are a beautiful man, any woman would love to be with you.” I shake my head and reach out and grab his shoulder, turning him towards me.

He pulls himself free and mutters. “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“No, wait. I’m sorry. It’s just a shock. That’s all. I will support you, Santino. Whatever path you walk in life. I will support your decisions. The same way I want you to support mine.”

He nods. “I appreciate that.” He smiles tightly.

“Santino—” I sigh.

“Dad, I can’t hold it against you, but I can’t lie to you and tell you your new wife isn’t trying to destroy you. Everyone else can see it. Why can’t you?”

He picks up his coffee and leaves.

I’m standing alone in the dark kitchen again, more confused that I was before, more worried and more anxious. Flooded with even more doubt.

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