“As far as the day three suitors, I enjoyed the time I spent with them. Each of them has qualities I find endearing. I love watching the way Alexei and Nikolai interact with one another and seeing how they’re so similar but so different from one another. Camila and Rhys are both easy to be around and breaths of fresh air. Just like the other suitors, any of them could be a fit for my future pack.”
Reginald continues smiling. “Once again, you’ve given us nothing. I do think this omega enjoys holding everything close to his chest. What do you think, viewers? Will he ever let us in on the thoughts he keeps locked away from us? Only time will tell. I wonder what secrets the suitors might be spilling. It won’t be much longer until Remy meets his day four suitors, so stay tuned in, and we’ll see you there.”
When Reginald turns back to me, his lips quirking up into a smirk. “You’re making these interviews quite interesting by refusing to give your thoughts.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I will not jump into decisions whether it makes it hard for you or not.” I stand, shooting him a smile. “Plus, you like it when I’m mysterious. Admit it.”
“I do, and so will the viewers. They’re going to be wondering what you’re thinking the entire time. We’ll just see how long you can keep it up, won’t we?”
Tessa scoffs, gesturing for me to join her at the bottom of the gazebo steps. “Don’t let him pressure you into anything, Remy. He’s charming and very good at getting people to think they want whatever he wants.”
Reginald gasps, holding his chest in mock horror. “I would never.”
“Yeah, right.” I snicker, following Tessa down the walkway.
At this point, I know right where to go since it’s now the fourth time I’m standing here waiting for my suitors to arrive.
“On a more serious note, I just want to check in with you, Remy, and make sure you’re doing okay?” Tessa reaches out to straighten my tie before meeting my gaze.
“I’m good, Tessa.” I pause, trying to ignore the rising panic. “Well, as okay as I can be when I’m about to meet four strangers.”
I don’t think there’s anything I can really do to wipe away the anxiety I feel when it comes to meeting new people. It’s been three days, and every encounter has been fine—if a little weird in the case of Lorenzo—but I just can’t turn off my brain.
It just keeps reminding me of all the ways each meeting can go wrong. Of how the suitors might not like me or I might not like them.
You know, the usual thoughts people have when they’re meeting someone new. It’s just an entirely different battle for me.
Anxiety can be such a hidden disorder until it makes itself known. While I haven’t been able to hide my anxiety on the show, I’ve spent years mastering my ability to keep it hidden in most places—like at work. Being onHeatedis too stressful for me to attempt to hide it.
But more than that, I don’t want to hide it. So many people deal with anxiety, and I want them to see they’re not alone. It might sound ridiculous, but I feel like making myself vulnerable like this could help someone who doesn’t know how to deal with the anxiety that could be running and ruining their life.
Tessa nods. “As always, if you need to stop, just let us know. We want to make sure you’re comfortable.”
“Thank you, Tessa.”
She steps away, finding her spot behind me and my eyes find Reginald, who’s still smirking at me. “What now?”
He shakes his head, hands going up in surrender. “Nope. Nothing. The first suitor’s limo is on the way. They should arrive momentarily.”
“You’re being sketchy,” I tell him with narrowed eyes, and he just smiles. Knowing he won’t reveal what he’s thinking unless he wants to, I turn my attention to the circular driveway.
Since it’ll take a few minutes for the limo to arrive, I find my thoughts drifting to the suitors I’ve already met. I wonder what they’re doing while sequestered on the top two floors. Are they all getting along? Do they think about me?
Ugh, those damn omega instincts again—always so needy.
Of course, they think about me even when I’m out of sight. They’re all here hoping to find a place in my pack. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.
Unless one of them is out to sabotage me like the asshole from last season, Viktor, tried to do to Evangeline. I don’t know why anyone would want to disrupt my season like that, but I still find it hard to understand why they’d have wanted to do that to Evangeline.
Chewing on my bottom lip, I wonder if that’s a real possibility. I know Tessa and Bree vet the suitors the best they can, but is it possible for someone to slip by like Viktor did?
“Remy?”
My head jerks toward the sound, wide eyes clashing with Reginald’s.
I blink, trying to steady my breathing.
Fuck, I really hate having anxiety sometimes. Just one simple, stray thought can cause me to lose my shit.