Page 5 of Knot His Reality

I flush at his praise. “I spend a lot of time working because this is something so close to my heart, but I have a few hobbies when I’m not working. I love to read—old fantasy books from before the Event are my favorite. Some of the newer ones are also amazing but thinking back to the world they lived in, it’s crazy to me how they were able to build these worlds so unlike their own. I also love video games, and I’m an avid roleplayer. Pretty much, I’m a nerd, and I won’t apologize for it.”

“Nor should you. Thank you, Remington, for sharing a little about yourself. Your first suitor is arriving in about five minutes, so we’re going to head down to the driveway so we can greet them. Viewers, keep watching so you can meet Remington’s first four suitors. I don’t know about you, but I’m dying to see who steps out of those limos.”

Chapter Two

Remington

“Thatwasgreat,Remy,”Reginald declares as he stands, reaching over to grab my hand and pull me to my feet. “It’s so much easier once you start talking—you’ll completely forget about the cameras. It’s the downside to doing interviews, as it’s the one time the cameras are shoved in your face. I promise it’ll get easier and easier. Plus, you’ll be able to forget all about the cameras after the suitors arrive.”

I wrinkle my nose, unsure if I’ll ever be able to forget the cameras are there, but what do I know? This is the first time I’ve been forced in front of a camera outside of family events. “If you say so.”

“Reginald is correct, Remy. You did a great job. You were charming and expressive as you were talking. It’s clear just how passionate you are about your work—something I’m grateful for.” Tessa smiles from where she stands at the bottom of the stairs.

“I know the topic can be hard for you,” I tell her with a soft smile. She’s also agreed to be part of my study cases because of her infertility issues. I’d advised her that there’s a good chance we won’t be able to do anything to fix her infertility but that her participation could help others down the line. Now that her pack has three babies, I don’t think she would even consider getting pregnant if she could.

She nods as Bree joins us. “It is, but it’s an important topic that needs to be discussed more frequently than it is. Knowing that there are people actively working on a solution is enough for me. If you can save anyone from going through what I had to, it’s worth it.”

“Come on, Remy, let’s get you ready to meet your first suitor, yeah?” Bree grins, nodding toward the circular driveway down the pathway.

My stomach turns at the idea, but I know this is what I need to do. I can’t keep letting fear rule my life.

I’m ready for this. I want to find my pack. I just wish I could skip all the time between now and having them.

Wouldn’t that just be the dream?

I’d go to bed single and wake up with the perfect pack. I’d sign up for that in a second.

I’m practically folding in on myself as my shoulders hunch forward—as if I can just make myself disappear.

“Remy?” Tessa’s voice is soft as she steps into my line of sight. “Do you need a minute? Finn’s here if you need to speak with him. We’re trying really hard not to overwhelm you, but even with the scent blockers you used, your scent is burnt. I’m not a big fan of burnt caramel lattes.”

Why am I like this? Why can’t I just be a normal fucking person? A normal omega?

“Remington, I need you to take a deep breath in,” Finnegan Abernathy, the psychologist on staff and a season one suitor who had to leave suddenly, commands. There’s a hint of alpha bark in those words but nothing I can’t shake off if I wanted to.

But this time, I don’t want to. I want to listen to his words. I need to breathe. I need air in my lungs to survive, but it’s like my entire body has frozen.

It takes a few tries before I can suck in a full lungful of air, and it’s only then I realize how much the world is spinning around me.

I’m hyperventilating because I’m having a panic attack.

Even though I know what’s happening to my body, it doesn’t help me make it stop—something I hate about myself.

I release the air in my lungs before sucking in another breath until, finally, the world stops spinning.

I’m kneeling on the ground with Finn in front of me as he holds my hand to his chest.

“That’s it, Remington. That’s a good job. Just keep breathing for me.”

I don’t know how long we sit there as I focus on copying his breathing, but when I let my hand fall away, I feel better—my head clearer.

I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened, but it isn’t—nor will it be the last. This is just the way my body reacts when I feel overwhelmed. It’s something I’ve discussed in detail with Finn, and we’ve been working on ways for me to cope with it.

Since I can’t seem to remember them in the moment, it’s clearly something we still need to work on.

“I think we should delay.” Finn stands up, offering me his hand as he focuses on Bree and Tessa. “Remington isn’t ready—“

“Yes, I am,” I say, cutting him off. “Am I overwhelmed? Yes. Of course I am. If I stopped doing something because I was overwhelmed, I’d still be living at home with my parental pack. I’d never leave the house, and I certainly wouldn’t be doing the work I do. Panic attacks don’t mean I have to stop—they mean I need to push forward. Nothing worth fighting for is easy. I’m determined to see this through. I’m here to find my pack, and that’s what I plan to do.”

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