Page 17 of Knot His Reality

Well, that sucks.

Chapter Four

Victoria

FollowingourdatewithRemington, my pack and I head back to our suite on the second floor. We have to meet Bree for our interview in about an hour, but for now, we can relax together.

“I had such a good time,” Milo sighs as he throws himself on the couch, staring up at the ceiling with his hands sitting on his chest. “I think I’m in love.”

I roll my eyes, flicking him on the forehead as I pass him. “Knock it off. We don’t know if Remington will choose us for his pack. We can’t get too attached.”

He sits up with a frown. “What do you mean, we can’t get too attached? How are we supposed to get to know him and win him over without getting attached?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, voice cold.

As the pack alpha, Eric and Milo look to me to have the answers. It requires me to think more objectively than they do—or at least more than Milo. He feels everything so deeply. It’s something I love about him and maybe a little jealous of.

I’ve never been able to wear my emotions for all to see. No, in the Hawthorne family, we must always be stoic. Allowing others to know what we’re feeling means they can use it against us. It’s burrowed so deep into my parents, I’m not even sure theycanfeel anything anymore.

As if being a female alpha isn’t hard enough, my parents raised me to seem cold and dispassionate. Let’s just say my winning personality has never won anyone over. I’m damn lucky Milo and Eric could see past my veneer and love me, regardless.

Since meeting them, I’ve been trying to be better. So far, Remy hasn’t complained, so maybe I’m doing better.

Shaking away those thoughts, I focus on the problem at hand as Eric sits beside me, threading our fingers together. Neither of them says anything, knowing I need to work through my thoughts before we can talk about it.

I had almost given up hope that we’d ever find an omega. Because I’m only interested in men, female omegas were off the table—which is fine considering there are more male omegas than female omegas—but most of them couldn’t look past the facade I put up for the world to see. They all thought I was too cold and uncaring when I’m anything but that.

Finding out there was going to be a male omega onHeatedhad my pack jumping at the chance to come on the show. My family hadn’t been happy about it—surprise, surprise—but they already think I’ve ruined my reputation.

I like Remington. Hell, even my family would approve of him, and that’s saying a lot. I think he’d be a good match for my pack, but I can’t allow myself to want it too badly. Because what happens if he decides we’re not for him? I’ll need to be there to pick up the pieces for Milo and Eric. I can’t be falling apart myself.

Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.

“I’m afraid that if we get our hopes up, we’ll get our hearts broken,” I finally say.

Eric hums. “That’s always a possibility—whether it’s onHeatedor out in the real world. The same could’ve been said about us when we were forming our pack. Any one of us could’ve changed our minds and walked away, breaking at least two hearts.”

“When it comes to love,” Milo adds, dropping to his knees before me, “you have to take a chance. You have to open yourself up to the possibility of heartache. It’s just a chance you have to take. Big risk, big reward.”

I nod, knowing they’re right. “I don’t like it.”

Milo snorts. “Of course not. Your analytical mind is running through all the possible outcomes and likely focusing on the worst possible ones.”

“If I could make it stop, I would. You know that.” I throw my hands in the air, expelling a puff of hot air.

“We know, Vic. You’re doing a great job, I promise,” Eric assures me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me against his chest.

Even if I’m the head alpha, sometimes I just need to be held by one of my pack mates—or both of them.

Realizing that’s what I need, I scoot closer to Eric before patting the seat beside me. “Come cuddle with us, Milo.”

He scrambles onto the couch as Eric pulls me into his lap, the three of us getting as close to one another as we can.

As their scents and arms wrap around me, I finally relax. There’s just nothing like being surrounded by my pack. It allows me to let go of my worries and stress—even if it’s just for a short period of time. This is what being a pack is all about.

If Remington doesn’t choose us, we’ll still have each other, and that’s what I need to remember.

I don’t know how long we sit like this, but I know our time has to be drawing to a close, so I wiggle out from between the two of them. A glance at the clock tells me we have less than ten minutes until we’re meant to meet Bree in the living room area.

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