Page 134 of Knot His Reality

“Of course we can, Rem.” Aubrey offers me a smile before turning to Quinn. “You’re welcome to join us.”

Quinn glances around the room, looking unsure. “Uhh…I’m not sure that’s a great idea.”

“I’m sorry, Quinn,” Eric rumbles. “We shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You’re part of the pack now. Join us. Your omega is going to need you close, especially with an incomplete bond.”

“You’re sure?”

Camila nods. “We’re sure. We want whatever Remy wants and needs.”

My heart feels like it’s going to burst from my chest as Milo helps me to my feet. Once in my room, he helps me strip down and change into sweats and a tee while Aubrey tosses Quinn something to change into. Then we’re all crawling into the bed, and it’s everything I needed.

Chapter Thirty-one

Carter

AfterFridaynight’sdrama,I’m very glad to be back at the compound—even if it ends up meaning I’m that much closer to being sent home.

Nikolai, Alexei, Riley, and I all know the rose ceremony that’ll be starting shortly is the last. We’ll either receive a black rose or a red one.

I don’t know what Riley and I will do if we’re sent home. It’s not like I’m getting any younger. Sure, Riley has plenty of years to find a pack, but I’m also over fifteen years his senior. Both of us want kids, and I don’t want to be in my fifties or sixties when we have them.

This feels like our last chance, and I hate it.

“What has you thinking so hard, Carter?” Riley wraps his arms around me from behind, his buttercream, prosecco, and blackberries scent soothing me in a way nothing else can.

I shrug, knowing he isn’t going to drop this but afraid to mention it. Not because I think he’ll be mad. I don’t want him feeling sorry for me or trying to soothe my fear. It’s his job to take care of me, and he takes it very seriously—without taking over my life, which is better than some alphas I dated in the past.

“Don’t do that. You know I hate it when you brush me off, and it’s clear that something’s bothering you.” He turns me around to face him, cupping my cheeks. “Talk to me. Please.”

I sigh. “I’m worried that Remington won’t choose us, and where will that leave us? I’m going to be forty-five in a couple of years. If I want to have kids, it needs to happen soon. I don’t want to be an old-ass dad—the one who can’t play with them because my body is falling apart. The one everyone asks if they’re one of the grandparents’ packs.”

His face falls. “I didn’t realize this was bothering you so badly. I don’t want to think about Remy not choosing us, but I can see your point. I don’t know what we’ll do. I don’t even care so much about having a pack. I would be happy for the rest of my life as long as you were by my side. We can always try surrogacy if we’re sent home today. I’ll do whatever I have to make you happy. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do. That’s why I didn’t want to say anything to you. I love you, Riley, and I always will. But this is something you can’t fix with your money.” I shake my head. “We can try surrogacy, but we all know the odds of a woman being impregnated are low. It can take years for a surrogate to get pregnant. I just…don’t know if I want that.”

“And that’s okay. It’s something we can discuss if we need to, but we don’t know if we’ll need to. Yes, we know tonight is the final rose ceremony, and Remy is going into heat soon. But what if he chooses us? What if we become part of the pack he’s building? We already know Quinn’s getting a red rose tonight, but that doesn’t mean we’re not.”

I shake my head, not wanting to get my hopes up. “Alexei and Nikolai are just as likely to get a red rose as we are. Hell, he might decide that Quinn is the last person his pack needs. All four of us could be sent home tonight. I understand you want to be optimistic about the situation, but I need to be a realist. I need to consider the fact that we might be sent packing instead of packing up. I need to know what we’re going to do next, if that’s the case.”

“I know. That’s just how your brain works.” Riley runs a hand down his face. “Okay, if we don’t get chosen, we have three options. The first is we keep looking for a pack, or at least a woman willing to join our pack. Yes, we’ve struggled with that in the past, and that’s my fault. After the season airs, I think it’ll be much better for us. The second option is we start trying with a surrogate. The third is we adopt.”

Hearing it broken down like that, I’m almost willing to admit defeat. The rejection that could come from trying to find a pack. The dejection we’ll face each time the pregnancy fails to implant. Adopting isn’t a terrible idea, but with so few babies being born each year, there are fewer and fewer to adopt—which is a double-edged sword. It’s great for the kids but not so great for packs trying to adopt.

“Why do those all sound like terrible options?” I ask.

“Because what you really want is for Remington to choose us,” Riley says matter-of-factly. “Just like I do.”

“Fuck,” I bellow, glad for the soundproofing in the rooms. “I hate that there’s nothing I can do right now. I need a plan of action, and I can’t make one until we hear what Remington has to say.”

Riley pulls me into his arms once more, chest rumbling as he purrs for me. It doesn’t have the same effect on me as it does on omegas, but it’s still comforting. Probably because I know he’s using it to make me feel better.

“The upside is that the rose ceremony will start soon. We should probably head downstairs.”

I wrinkle my nose as I pull away. “I don’t want to.”

He snickers. “Yes, you do.”

“Stop doing that.” I shove at his chest—not that it does a damn thing to him. He just smirks at me.

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