Page 158 of Bossy Hero

After a weighty sigh, he continues. “There’s only one thing I’m struggling with in terms of forgiveness.”

I want to ask what it is. At the same time, I don’t know if I’m ready to hear it.

Since I brought it up and made him journey down this dark path, it’s only fair that I face my mistakes.

Forcing steadiness into my tone, I ask, “What is it?”

“The night of the medal ceremony. When your ex showed up, and I threw him out.” His chest trembles with a shaky breath. “How could you leave with him? You knew who he was. You were already broken up. You were waiting for him to sign the damn divorce papers. And you weren’t alone. Two of your three kids were there, begging you not to leave with him. And I was there too. Right in front of you. Offering you protection. Offering you love.”

He pauses, shaking his head and releasing a troubled sigh. “I never understood how or why you could do that. And then you stayed with him for years. I was waiting for you the entire time. I don’t get it. Why, Maddie?”

I knew this day would come. Knew he’d confront me for this eventually.

He deserves the answer.

However, if I tell him, it’ll hurt him. The only question is... which pain is worse? The known or unknown?

I suppose it’s time to find out. Not telling him has been hurting him for years. The only way through the pain is honesty.

I hope.

Closing my eyes, I offer up the truth. “This might be hard to hear, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Don’t spare my feelings. I want honesty.”

After I lift my head off his chest, I sit up and tuck the sheet around me. “I didn’t invite him to the ceremony and hated that he showed up. Some of my old instincts took over when I saw him. It’s hard not to cower from the person you’ve been subservient to for decades. Prior to that evening, I had decided I was done with Travis. Permanently. And to this day, I believe I was. If he’d just come and left without complications, I wouldn’t have taken him back. I’m certain of it.”

I press my eyes shut and shake my head, struggling to find the courage to tell him what he wants to know. “Aside from losing Sammy, taking him back was the darkest time of my life. I knew it would be, and I made the choice anyway.”

“If you knew that, why did you do it?”

“I didn’t want to, but I had no choice,” I choke out, my tears spilling over.

He joins me in a seated position, shifting to align our faces. He’s probably gonna do the brain probe. And I’ll let him because I have nothing to hide now.

I run my fingertips through his soft beard, my hand lingering on his cheek. “I agreed to take him back and stop the divorce so he wouldn’t have you arrested for assault.”

His breath catches, and his jaw drops. “What?”

“You would have been court-martialed or dishonorably discharged. The idea of another person I love suffering because of him was too much to bear.”

He shakes his head in slow arcs that grow more desperate. His face is awash with grief that matches my own. “Maddie, no, no, no. That wasn’t?—”

“Shh. It’s okay.” I put my finger over his lips to quiet him. “I refused to allow you to be punished for defending me. I took him back one last time, hoping I’d survive it.”

“Aw, baby,” he rasps, his voice thick with too many emotions for me to decipher.

“And the day I learned you retired from the Army, I left him. The very same day. And I never looked back.”

Chapter27

I'm the motherfucker

Big Al

Facing off with Sammy this morning is just the distraction I need. Even if she’s being a shithead, I’ll happily deal with her instead of ruminating on Maddie’s revelation.

I barely slept last night, too wrecked by warring guilt and gratefulness over what she sacrificed—for me. Maddie risked her life, suffering for years, to keep me out of jail and to save my job.

---