Page 122 of Bossy Hero

“Nicer?” I parrot, layers of snark painting my tone. “What a relief, considering the alternative.”

“You’re twisting my words, Maddie.”

“Fine. Let’s examine your words. You said that, aside from practical reasons, you hired Lettie so you could get to know her, right?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me what you’ve learned about her so far. What have you shared about yourself? Who are her friends? Where did she and Tomer meet and fall in love? Has she dated before? Does she want a family one day? Can she swim? Is she athletic? Where did she work before becoming your assistant? Did she go to college? What does she do for fun?”

Despite his mouth moving, nothing comes out. And that’s because there’s nothing he can say.

You’d need to have an actual conversation with someone to learn those things.

“I know most of those answers, Alan. Because I’ve spoken to her. Every day. Even if it’s only a few minutes here and there. Why don’tyouknow those answers? Or any others?”

He rolls his wrist, flicking his hand. “Since you know everything, why don’t you tell me?”

“Because you only gave her that job to get to know her but without... you know...actuallygetting to know her. It’s about easing your guilt and saving face. Nothing else.”

For the first time, his volume increases. Not a lot. Just enough to tell me I’ve touched a nerve. “That’s asinine, Maddie.”

“Oh, the hell it is, Alan. It’s exactly what’s happening. And I know it, since I’m there every day too. I’m witnessing it in real time.”

Against my will, I think but don’t say.

Instead, I barrel on. “She’s there, so no one can accuse you of ignoring her. And look at you...” I wave my hand, gesturing up and down his frame. “You’ve even convinced yourself that you’re getting to know her. I’d say the job thing is working out exactly as you’ve engineered it to.”

He paces a few steps to the right before doubling back. With his head down, he fumes, cussing under his breath.

“You know I’m right, Alan.”

“No, you’re not,” he grumbles, mostly speaking to the floor as he wears a hole in the foyer rug from his aggressive marching. Stubborn ass. “It isn’t that simple. This shit is hard as hell.”

I fling my arms to the sides, a sarcastic grin eating up my face. “Welcome to parenthood.”

He stops pacing and meets my worried gaze. Words seem to fail him, and I can’t tell if it’s because he’s still trying to argue his point or if he’s unsure what to do about this shit fuck cluster or whatever he calls it.

Is he furious at himself or me?

Some of my temper fades, quickly replaced with the old familiar fear that I’ve done something that’ll come back to me in the form of angry fists. My natural urge to defuse the tension rears its ugly face.

In a calmer tone, I offer, “It’s not too late to fix this. I can help you.”

Softer now, he continues. “Babe, I’ve got mountains of pressure on me as it is. I seriously don’t have time in my day to kiss Tomer’s ass or play twenty-questions with mydaughter. Not until we get more things in motion.”

I move closer to him, daring to put myself in striking distance. There’s a tremble in my legs, but I press on.

With each step forward, I remind myself that he isn’t Travis or my father. Alan will never put his hands on me in anger.

The blood rushes behind my ears, drowning out the sound of my shaky breaths.

When I get my fear under control, I place a palm on his chest. “Alan, I’m not denying the immense pressure on you. Don’t misconstrue my concern as a dismissal of your significant responsibilities.”

He drops back a step, letting my hand fall from his chest. “Then what are you saying, Maddie? What the fuck do you want from me? How am I supposed to fix all this without failing at something else critical, resulting in more blood on my hands? How? Please fucking tell me.”

“You have to try. Make time for her. And for him. Put them on your list of priorities. You can give them fifteen minutes here and there. At a minimum, tell them how you’re feeling. Let them know that they haven’t left your thoughts, and you’ll be making time for them soon because they matter to you. Do or saysomethingto show them you care.”

His tone loses some of the velvet I’ve come to expect when he’s this close to me. “Maddie, please don’t do this to me now. I need you to support me, not fight me. I’ve always supported you. Why aren’t you doing the same when I need you most?”

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