Page 119 of Bossy Hero

“I do.”

Because she knows I’m going to do the brain probe to see what she’s feeling, she freaking closes them. Damn her.

Shefinallyspits it out. “Did you love her? Do you... still?”

My head kicks back at the unexpected question. “She’s dead.”

With her eyes still sealed shut, she replies, “Yes, you mentioned that. However, you also had a certain look in your eyes when you talked about her.”

“Look at me,” I order, my voice a hair above a whisper.

“Do I have to?” she jests, finally giving me a glimpse of her sparkling eyes.

It doesn’t take long for me to see what I need to see. The truth behind her question.

The fear.

“Have I told you today how much I love you?”

She acts affronted, complete with a scoff and eye roll. “This isn’t about me. I know you love me, and against my better wishes, you also know I love you.”

I can’t quash the shit-eating grin at the memory of how she let those three little words slip after she kicked me out of her bedroom window so Leo wouldn’t find me in her bed a few months ago.

I knew she did.

Hearing it, though, meant... everything.

“Then why are you scared?”

She gives her injured shoulder a rub a few inches under the stitched-up wound. “I’m not scared.”

“Then why are you asking about a woman I barely remember from two and a half decades ago?”

Her eyes dart from side to side. “I suppose I just feel like things are changing a bit too fast, which is no one’s fault. Not only were we outed last night, but now you’re a father. For real this time. All of this must be stirring up memories of this woman.”

“And?”

She rolls her shoulders back, confidence making her spine turn to steel. There’s the grizzly again. However, it’s not doing her bidding for the right reasons. It’s helping her fight the wrong thing.

“I worry how it might affect us, and neither of us has had time to process things. If it weren’t dangerous, I’d ask you to give me a few days to myself.”

With eyes bulging, I hold up my hand, prepared to object.

She barrels on, cutting me off at the pass. “I already know better than to ask. After last night, I expect you’ll be on my ass like white on rice.”

“Damn right.” I nibble at the inside of my cheek. “And thank you for not asking for time apart. I can’t give it to you right now.”

Her expression sags. “I don’t mean to make this about me. This is an especially rough time for you.”

She smooths her palm over the table, wiping away the crumbs from her toast and capturing them in her other hand. As she delicately opens her fist over her plate to shake off the dried toast bits, she sighs so loudly that I wonder if she needs painkillers for her shoulder.

“Alan, you also need time to yourself. I want you to have that. And, obviously, you’ll need to spend time with her. So don’t feel bad if you need me to stay with Leo or Sawyer. I’m fine with that. You do what you need to do. Don’t worry about me.”

“What if I want to worry about you?” I ask, intentionally avoiding responding to her suggestion.

If I react right away, it won’t go well.

My instinct is to tell her in no uncertain terms that I’d rather ride a bull with spurs on its saddle than have time without her. That’s ludicrous.

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