Page 81 of One Wild Omega

Fitz dragged him closer, the alpha’s hands like steel bands on his arms. “What else?”

“You’re a terrible person. A terrible alpha. You… you…” Tears stung that backs of Tanner’s eyes. “You pushed me away. You made me feel small… andinsignificant. You hurt me, over and over and over again.” Tanner felt the first tear slide down his face. “Seeing you with Bellamy… it broke me inside. And I don’t know if I can let go of the things I saw. The things you said. The pain I feel.”

Fitz’s face fell. “Iama terrible person. A terrible alpha. I pushed you away when I should’ve pulled you close.Cherished you. Made you feel like you were the most valuable person in my world. I hate that I hurt you. I hate that I made you feel the things you felt… and I hate that I didn’t realize what I was doing to you.” Fitz drew in a ragged breath. “I didn’tknow, Tanner. Every time I saw you… I felt raw. Angry. The words popped out of my mouth, and I didn’t understand why. I never comprehended why you made me feel what you did. It never made any sense. I’m sorry I hurt you. So fucking sorry.” He paused, his face pinched in pain. “All I can do now is beg your forgiveness. Beg you to give me a chance to make it right. I want to make it right, Tanner. Without the meds to get in our way. I want to show you I’m not this terrible person you see me as.”

A tear ran down Tanner’s cheek. He considered Fitz’s words for a moment before he spoke. “Art was my life. It waseverythingto me. Before you, I had that as a means to express myself. After you, it was a way to get out the pain. Focus my emotions and not let them eat me alive. I eventually realized I wouldn’t have you in my life, so I needed my art and to create so I could fill in the gaps inside.” He paused, a sob rising up. “And then the fire. Suddenly the thing I used to fill me was gone. I don’t know what to do now. I’m empty.”

“We get you more paint. More brushes. Whatever you need. And you paint again.” Fitz paused. “I want to give you the world, Tanner. I want to take away the emptiness. Fill it with a life… together.Ifyou’ll have me.”

“So it can all burn up and be gone again?”

“What if it did?You’dstill be here. I’d be there, if you wanted me to. And you’d just keep on painting. Keep on living. Becausethatis who you are.” Fitz lifted his chin. “You can still share your gifts with the world.”

“I thought I was a shitty artist who only wanted attention?”

Fitz winced. “You know I didn’t mean any of that.”

“They say that there’s always a little glimmer of truth in anger.”

“I seem to recall being called a monkey-brained horse’s ass at some point over the years. So, I guess that was truth?”

“No, no, no. It was a monkey-brained,scum-sucking, horse’s ass. I mean, if you’re going to say it, say it right.”

“Duly noted.”

Tanner began to chuckle. The chuckle bubbled into laughter… which shifted into tears. Fitz drew him closer, hugging him tight.

Letting him mourn his loss.

He melted into Fitz’s strong arms, loving how well he fit there. Fitz moved them to the couch and drew him down. He curled up in his alpha’s lap and rested his head on the man’s shoulder. The alpha kissed his forehead and massaged his back with strong hands.

It was all he’d ever wanted.

His alpha at his side when he needed him. Calm. Loving. Caring.

But how long would it last before the anger returned?

When the tears had stopped and he felt a little lighter, he sat up and wiped his face. “You’re being awfully nice to me today… why is that?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure. I don’t feel much of the anger today, oddly.” Fitz rubbed his hand along Tanner’s cheek, wiping away some of the wetness. “It’s like the day of the fire… I think my need to protect you was so strong that it kept the anger at bay. But even then… I sensed it simmering on the edges. Today… there’s almost nothing.”

“And what about that day at Quinn’s? Or the baby shower?”

Fitz frowned. “I can’t answer that. I was hungover for one and had plenty of liquid courage by the second. Maybe that dulled my senses enough that I didn’t feel the anger as strongly? I don’t know.”

Tanner looked up into Fitz’s stare. The normal simmering disgust wasn’t there.

“But if it’s not there… maybe it’s not theScentex, after all. I’m still on it,” Tanner said. A thought suddenly occurred. He jumped from Fitz’s lap and went in hunt of his phone. As soon as he turned it on, he pulled up his calendar.

The alarm he’d ignored had been a reminder to take his shot.

Tanner padded back out into the living room. “I missed myScentexdose. By a little over a week.”

Fitz rose from the couch and walked over. He stopped in front of Tanner. “And the anger is faded. It takes about two weeks to fully getScentexout of your system, right?”

Tanner nodded. “From what I understand, yes.”

Fitz sat down on the arm of the sofa and reached out a hand. Tanner tentatively took it and let himself be led closer. Because of Fitz’s massive height, they were pretty much eye to eye. The alpha drew him between two strong thighs.

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