Page 32 of Past Lovers

“I was trying to forget how much I wanted Jesse,” Hayden murmured. “I thought if I fucked around enough… If I drank enough… but it never stopped.” He sighed. “And now… I don’t know what I’m going to do. All I want to do is drink now.”

“I think some time down south might be good for you. I can drive you down… Gillam’s door is open.”

Hayden was quiet.

“If you fall into a bottle now… you might never come out,” Adam said quietly as he knelt before Hayden. “And we need you here, man.”

Hayden nodded. “Okay. I need out of here… and I can’t keep living like this.”

Clay smiled. “Good choice.”

Hayden scrubbed his face a little. “You guys aren’t weirded out to know I had feelings for Jesse?”

“Not when I have feelings for Adam,” Clay announced.

Adam’s eyes widened as he met Clay’s gaze.

Hayden looked between them. “You two?” He looked again. “Is this what all the fighting was about?”

“A little,” Clay said. “We’re not fighting anymore. I was packing up to move back to his place.”

Hayden grinned. “Good. At least you guys got your shit together.” He sighed. “Now it’s time for me to get mine right.”

“You can get there,” Clay said. “Go pack up a bag and I’ll call Gillam.”

Hayden nodded. “Thanks, man.”

As soon as Hayden was out of earshot, Adam turned to him. “What about work tomorrow?”

“It’s a five-hour drive,” Clay said. “I can get him there and settled and drive back in the morning. I can be back by noon for work.” He paused. “I’ve seen how bad it is, Adam. He needs help.”

“Of course he does,” Adam said. “But I don’t want you driving alone. I’ll go with.”

“No reason we both miss work.”

“We still need to brainstorm for that video presentation. One of us can drive while the other takes notes,” Adam said. “I’ll call dad and let him know. He’ll be so happy you’re staying that I doubt he’ll care if we come in at all.”

Clay drew Adam close. “You looked a little freaked when I told Hayden how I felt.”

“I was,” Adam admitted. “I’m still a bit stunned that it’s real… not sure I was ready to include anyone else in it yet.”

“I’m just excited,” Clay said.

Adam nodded. “I get that. I feel it, too.”

“We can also discuss how we handle work now,” Clay said. “On our five-hour drive home.”

“Work is work,” Adam said, frowning. “There’s no reason to bring in our private lives.”

“You’re suggesting we hide us?”

Adam moved away from Clay. “We just admitted how we feel. Can’t we just see how things go for a while before we make some big announcement at work? Plus, I’d rather tell my parents in private… when the time is right.”

Clay eyed Adam, feeling a bit unsure. “Yeah. Okay.” He took a step back.

Adam dragged him closer. “I just want a little time to feel our way through this.”

“I’ve waited five years for this,” Clay said. “I’m not feeling very patient at the moment.”

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