Page 23 of Past Lovers

“So are we talking about Adam? I figured that’s who you’re staying with.”

Clay winced at the name. “No—I’m staying with my friend Hayden.”

“Did I meet him when you all came down here a couple of years ago?”

“Yeah—”

“The one joined to the hip with Jesse?” Gillam asked. “Right? Or was it the smaller, nerdy guy?”

“Joined at the hip. Benji is the smaller, nerdy one.”

“Ah, right, right,” Gillam said. “How is Adam, by the way?”

Clay frowned. It had been apparent that Gillam had been a bit infatuated by Adam on their trip years ago, and Clay hadn’t liked it. At all. “I don’t really know.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

Clay bit his lip. “Paradise? You make it sound like we were in a relationship.”

“Isn’t friendship a relationship in some ways? You have the same trust and intimacy in a good, loving friendship as you do in any relationship. In some cases, even more so. There are things I’ve been able to tell my best friend that I’ve struggled to tell my lovers in the past.”

“I suppose you’re right.” He’d been able to share everything with Adam.Everything.That trust had been shattered, and it left him feeling broken. The loss of that friendship left him feeling empty.

“Well, like I said, I’m open to help. Just get me some details once you get a trip planned.”

“I really appreciate it, Gill.”

“Anything for my favorite godson,” Gillam said before ending the call.

Clay stared at the phone, the desire to call Adam washing over him. He missed the guy.

And he missed the friendship.

Ultimately, he tossed the phone to the seat beside him and went back to his apartment search.

* * * *

Saturday evening…

Adam turned the page, his stare washing over the old photo album. His mother had put it together when they’d all graduated and given all five of them a copy. It harkened back to better times, before Melanie. Before that night…

Before everything had gone to shit.

He glanced at the fortune from the night before. It sat on the floor beside him, the words repeating in his mind.

After a lot of thought, he wondered if maybe he’d expected too little.

He hadn’t been the only one in that bed. While the how was still a bit fuzzy to him, they’d both ended up there. They’d both come together, through mutual need. He wasn’t to blame for that. And he was tired of feeling shame when he remembered it.

He was also tired of hiding it.

Adam had already lost Clay. If he told the whole story, Clay might walk away—but at least Adam could possibly let go of the obsession in his heart and mind. He needed that freedom… the secret weighed too heavily on him.

Reaching for his phone, he hesitated a moment before pulling up Clay’s number.

And he was surprised when Clay actually answered.

“There’s more I need to tell you about that night,” Adam said, without saying hello. He let it all out before he lost his nerve. “I really need to talk.”

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