Page 23 of Best Friends

Benji stared at the beer in his hand, as if he refused to look at Jesse’s face.

Jesse sat back against the padded leather seat, his mind wrapping around the news that had just been delivered. He’d seen that smile, and he’d sensed there was something to it—but having Benji make the admission—that was different.

Benji liked guys. Did that change who he was? No. Benji was still Benji—the same guy he’d known since freshman English. The same guy who’d tutored them all through math classes. The same guy who had been there for him each and every time bad shit had gone down.

Benji was the guy you could depend on. The true friend.

Like Hayden.

No, like Hayden had been.

This new Hayden… the partying, the women, the sex…

The kisses…

Jesse pushed all that from his mind. Now was about Benji and this admission that had likely taken every ounce of strength his friend had.

After a few seconds, Benji tentatively lifted his stare and met Jesse’s.

“How long have you known?” Jesse asked.

Benji shrugged. “I’ve always felt an attraction to other guys… for as long as I can remember. Just as I’ve always been attracted to women. I hid that part of me for a long time…”

Jesse considered those words. “So you were born this way.”

“I believe so.”

“So, you didn’t just wake up one morning and think, I just might be into dudes today,” Jesse said.

Benji frowned. “No. That’s not exactly how this works.” Benji sighed. “Look, maybe you need some time to deal with what I’ve just told you. Out of all the guys, I’d hoped you would be the one who was okay with this.”

“I am okay,” Jesse said, leaning in. His questions had been aimed at himself, not Benji. Fuck, here I am messing up more shit, saying the wrong things, as usual. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like I wasn’t. I’ll be there for you no matter who you love. I was just curious how you… knew.”

Benji nodded. “I just knew.”

Jesse was silent a moment, considering his own sexuality. He’d always loved women… and there had never been a man whom he’d felt attracted to.

Except for Hayden.

It was an attraction he’d beaten into submission over the years. Maybe he’d beaten it down so much, he couldn’t figure out a way to let it back into the light of day. “I’ve never quite understood how someone could like men and women.”

“I’m attracted to people. Not gender. If there’s someone who I feel a connection to, it doesn’t matter what’s between their legs. I want to know them… I want them to know me.” Benji paused. “And no, I’m not attracted to you, if that helps anything.”

“Why not?” Jesse said. “I’m a catch.”

Benji chuckled.

Silence fell between them for a moment.

“So… are we okay?” Benji asked.

“Of course we are,” Jesse said. “Seriously. Whoeveryou love, I’m good with it. I’ll be there to support you. Whoever.”

Benji sat silently a second or two. “Like, maybe, Mac?”

Jesse smiled. “I saw the way you were looking at him.”

“Bullshit.”

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