Page 9 of Dream with Me

“I know, love. I’ve got you.” Troy slides his fingers out of me, and while I hate to lose his touch for even a second, when he enters me, I forget everything. Everything except how delicious it is to have him inside me.

At first, Troy thrusts into me with the ferocity I ache for. But when he has me right on the edge again, he slows and whispers to me, “We were made for each other, Shan. I’ll never love anyone but you. Ever.”

Though I tell myself this is just about getting my physical needs met as I crash over the edge of another orgasm, his words affect me on a far deeper level. I’m still riding the ebbing pleasure as Troy growls, and I know his release has come, too.

Without warning, tears silently fill my eyes, then flow down my cheeks. I’m careful to keep as quiet as possible. He can’t know I’m crying.

Troy presses a kiss to my cheek and his body tenses. It’s clear he’s felt the moisture on my skin. He says nothing, and my tears come faster.

“Please tell me what I can do to fix it.” His voice breaks, and so does my heart. When I don’t answer, he whispers, “Please, Shannon.”

I swallow hard.

“I-I’m not sure you can.”

CHAPTER6

SHANNON

Today feels ominous. It was two nights ago that Troy and I had sex. The older kids are at school, and Chase is at the zoo with my brother, Ben, and sister-in-law, Trina.

I’m alone with my husband for the first time in forever, and it’s uncomfortable as hell.

I look up from my coffee as Troy walks into the room, having dropped Chase off at Ben’s. The last two days, since I did the least sexy thing ever and cried at the end of sex, have been so awkward.

He looks at me with hope in his eyes, his tall frame filling the doorway. There’s something else in his gaze, though, too, maybe fear or worry. The hand, not holding his coffee, is tucked safely in his pocket. He fidgets when he’s stressed, so I know he does this intentionally to keep his hand still.

“Do you want to go get brunch this morning? Maybe take a hike in the park?” There’s uncertainty in his quiet voice.

I shake my head. “There’s too much to do around here.”

It’s an excuse, and the crestfallen look on his face tells me he knows it. He walks over and sits on the chair opposite me.

“There’s two of us. We could knock it all out and still have some time to spend together. C’mon, you love brunch at Pat’s Diner.”

I should be excited at the prospect of some alone time with Troy, but I’m not. I feel... empty. That, and sad.

“I don’t want to,” I whisper. “I...”

Troy waits patiently, but I don’t finish my sentence, not sure what to say.

“Babe? Is this about the other night? I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you cry. I hate to see you hurt and?—”

“‘See’ me hurt? You haven’t ‘seen’ me in months, maybe years.” There’s not even anger in my voice, only resignation.

Troy places his coffee on the table next to him, then rubs his hands over his eyes as he sighs. It’s not a frustrated sign. No, it seems… forlorn. He looks back over at me. “I don’t understand what’s happening to us, but we feel off. I want to fix it, but I don’t know how.”

I say nothing, sensing that wherever this conversation leads might be life-altering.Am I ready for that?

When he can no longer stand the silence, Troy stands and comes to sit next to me on the couch. With his body angled toward me and his full focus on me, he tries again. “Tell me why you’re upset. I know that you are.”

“Why do you even care?” I shake my head at him, and he backs away from me at the sting of my words.

“I care because you’re my wife. You’re obviously upset or angry?—”

“I’m not either. I’m tired. Disappointed.”

“Disappointed?” Hurt flashes across his face, but he quickly masks it, like he does all of his emotions. “Disappointed in what? Our life... me?”