Page 63 of Dream with Me

When I wake up later, my heart hurts. Deep inside me, there must have been a part of me that thought Troy would never move on, especially this quickly. The same naïve part of me hung onto that fantasy that I would be the only woman this man ever loved.

I know this kind of thinking is entirely selfish. I asked for a divorce, and then I’m not ready to accept him being with someone else, to accept him moving on. Eventually, when the shock dissipates, it’s replaced with anger. Fury.

The odd thing is I don’t know who I’m angry at. Maybe myself that it took me seeing him with someone else to get my true emotions fully to the surface. Maybe him, even though I know, in theory, he hasn’t done anything wrong. And at her. For being beautiful and younger than me and smiling at my husband like he hung the moon.

Myhusband.

I’ll text him. I have to.

Me: Do you have time to talk?

I’m grateful this weekend is the weekend the kids are all with Ben, Trina, Shyley, and my parents at the indoor water park. I didn’t think I could fake my way through it. Usually, Troy and I go on the weekend trip, too. I wasn’t up to it without Troy this year. Sure, Lincoln isn’t there yet to be with Shyley, but he’s driving down tonight. I didn’t want to be the odd man out.

It’s been ten minutes since I texted Troy, and there’s been no answer, the text left unread. When did I become the person whose text he doesn’t read right away? How did I get demoted in his life, in his heart?

Oh my God. What if it’s because he’s still with her? Maybe he’s not answering my texts because of her.

My phone dings to alert me that I have a text message, and I immediately grab it, only to see it’s my sister messaging.

Shyley: Hey, it looks like we forgot to grab Chase’s stuffed turtle before we left. Do you mind if I send Lincoln to pick it up? He’s ready to leave our house to head out here, but we’ll have one very upset boy on our hands if we don’t get Mr. Turtle to him by bedtime.

Me: Glad you realized it and crisis averted. Yeah, it would have made for a very bad night. I’ll get him ready. Text me if you think of anything else you need as well.

I head up to Chase’s room, and sure enough, Mr. Turtle is lying on the floor. I grab him and head downstairs. While I wait for Lincoln to arrive, I brew a half pot of coffee. Maybe I’ll get some of the bookkeeping I still do for Emily and Lizzy done to help keep my mind occupied and off the fact that Troy isn’t responding to me. Plus, I’m in need of some liquid energy.

While the coffee is brewing, Lincoln arrives, and I let him in. He doesn’t greet me with his usual hug.

“I have Mr. Turtle in the kitchen. Follow me.” When we enter the kitchen, the coffee pot beeps that it’s done brewing. “Do you want a cup of coffee to perk you up before you hit the road?” The trip is only a little over an hour long, but it can be monotonous by yourself.

Lincoln’s face is guarded, with no hint of his usual smile. “No. Just the turtle.” His tone is sharp, and I look up at him.

“What’s wrong with you? Why areyoupissed at me?”

His eyes widen and his mouth falls slightly open as he releases an annoyed huff. “Are you being serious right now, Shan?”

I walk to the cupboard and pull down two coffee cups. He’s having a cup with me whether he likes it or not. I pour us each a cup and push his at him. “Drink it. And, yes, I’m serious. You’re giving me the cold shoulder, and Troy has been acting weird for days. He’s not answering my texts, so?—”

“You’re my sister-in-law, and I love you, but do you blame him?”

I’m taken aback by his words. “I haven’t done anything wrong.” I grab my cup and take a seat at the kitchen table. “Sit,” I order him.

“First of all, you’re not the boss of me,”—he pulls a chair out and joins me anyway—“and I get it. Technically, you didn’t do anything wrong, I guess, even though you’re not officially divorced. Did you have to flaunt it that you were out with another guy, though? You had to know how that would hurt him.”

“Oh my God. You’re pissed at me because of the restaurant? Nice. Well, maybe if you reached out and asked what was going on, you’d know it wasn’t what it looked like.”

He rolls his eyes at me, and my heart starts pounding as irritation bubbles up inside me. “Really? Coulda fooled me.”

Now I’m fuming. “Screw you, Linc. That man is my supervisor. Who, by the way, tricked me into lunch with him that day and has been inappropriate for weeks. I’m sorry if I was in shock when he touched my back and didn’t pull away from him fast enough. And what was I supposed to do, jump up from the table and interrupt Troy’s little flirt-a-thon with the cute blonde to explain? Especially when he’s been acting weird with me.”

Lincoln snorts, and I shake my head at him, my face tightening in annoyance.

“Really, Lincoln?”

“Sorry, it’s just you thinking he was flirting with her is hilarious. Do you want to know what he was talking to her about?” I nod. “He was talking to her about the importance of changing her smoke detector batteries every six months—mainly to keep himself from storming over to you and going all‘my wife’ragey on the guy.”

“Huh? He wasn’t flirting?”

“Uh, no. Not for her lack of trying, either. He’d never do something like that and risk hurting you.”

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