Page 29 of Dream with Me

A few minutes later, the older three kids come out with their pajamas on and their teeth brushed. I hug them and say goodbye, but Chelsea frowns and asks why I’m not tucking her in. I glance at Troy again as he peers down the hall where the bedrooms are, biting at his lip, his jaw tense. But, when Chelsea practically begs, resignation flashes across Troy’s face, and he nods to me.

I follow the kids back down a short hallway, and Chelsea, pulling me by the hand, leads me into the room she shares with her sister. Olivia kisses me good night, grabs her e-reader, and climbs into the top bunk. I tuck Chelsea in, read her a short story, then wrap her blanket tightly around her as she loves.

“Say it, Mama. Like at home,” Chelsea says. She struggles to keep her eyelids open, and I lean down, kissing her on the forehead.

“Snug,” I tuck her blankets tighter around her sides and leg, “as a bug,” stretching to tuck her feet better, “in a rug.” My sweet baby girl smiles and closes her eyes. I kiss her one last time on the forehead before leaving their room and turning off the lights.

It only takes steps to get to the second bedroom, where the boys are. I climb a few steps up the ladder to the top bunk and give Oliver a good night hug.

“Owlie, are you okay? You were quiet tonight.”

“I’m fine, Mom, don’t worry about me.” He lets me kiss him on the cheek but doesn’t look me in the eye, and then he turns and faces the wall. I stand there for several long seconds, wondering what to do for our boy. He seems to be taking the divorce harder than the other kids.

I climb down the ladder and sit on the end of the bottom bunk, where Troy is tucking Chase into bed. I watch as he strokes our little boy’s wavy hair while Chase’s eyes get heavier until they fall closed, and his breathing evens out with the peace of sleep.

Troy stands and says, “I’ll give you a minute. I know you like to watch him sleep.” His smile is slight but sincere. I watch him as he turns, wondering how he knew that about me. I don’t think I ever told him it brought me comfort to watch each of my babies sleep through the years. Yet, he knows.

He walks out of the room, and I scoot into his place and watch my baby in his peaceful state for a bit before I kiss him on the forehead and rise. I pull the door closed except for a crack when I step back into the hallway. I look around and discover there are no more rooms back here.

Returning to the main space, I find Troy straightening the kitchen. When he notices me, he gives me a forced smile.

“Thanks for staying tonight. It made the kids happy.” I smile at him, grateful he let me be a part of it. He didn’t have to.

“It was nice. Much better than being at the house by myself, honestly.” I clear my throat. “Troy, I haven’t said it much, but you know you’re a great dad, right? Like a really good one. Our kids are lucky to have you.”

Troy’s cheeks turn pink, and he slips his hands into the pocket of his gray sweatpants. “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

“I know,” I speak the words with a hushed voice. “But don’t ever doubt it. Even though we... you know, you’ve always been a phenomenal father.”

I grab my bag off the kitchen counter and head for the door. When I get there, I turn to say goodbye to Troy. Instead, something comes over me, and I ask, “You wouldn’t want to have a cup of coffee, would you? It’ll help keep me awake, and maybe I can get in a few more hours of studying tonight after I get home.”

Troy’s eyes widen for a second but then return to normal. “I could go for a cup of coffee. The kids have me worn out from all that Twister and I need to stay up tonight and prepare for an appointment.”

“Let’s do it.” I set my bag back on the counter. When he turns to put on a pot of coffee, I open my mouth to ask what kind of appointment but stop myself. It’s not my place.

Minutes later, Troy and I sit on his couch, sipping our coffee. We don’t say anything for a while, but then a question niggling at the back of my brain forces its way out.

“Troy, where are you sleeping? I only saw the two bedrooms, and they each have bunkbeds, but I didn’t see a bed for you anywhere.”

Troy looks away from me toward the living room window, even though it’s dark out now, and he cannot see anything. “I can sleep in one of those beds when the kids aren’t here, but this couch opens out into a bed for me. That’s where I’ve been sleeping. It’s comfy, don’t worry.”

I huff. “Troy, it’s not even comfy to sit on.” It earns me a chuckle. “Seriously, you need a better place to sleep.”

“It’s fine. Let’s not get into this. We’re having a nice evening, and I don’t want to ruin it.”

I stare at him, then decide it’s not worth fighting about. But he and I will talk about him insisting on paying the mortgage at our house. It’s not sustainable for him in the long term.

We spend the next hour talking about what’s going on in life. I tell him about making a friend at work, Tillie, and explain that I’m scheduled for my CPA exam. Troy tells me about the happenings at the station, which I miss hearing about. Troy has been with the fire department for fifteen years. Some of his crewmates are like family to us.

It’s also nice to have a conversation with Troy without fighting or feeling awkward.

We reach a place where the conversation naturally slows, and we sit in silence for several minutes, then Troy clears his throat. “Shannon, we need to talk about Oliver. I’m worried about him.”

CHAPTER18

SHANNON

Tillie throws me a sideways glance as she files out of the conference room with the rest of the team. I sit and watch since Will asked me to stay behind. I survived yet another boring meeting where the senior accountants gave updates on their accounts. What should be an hour-long meeting always turns into two because we listen to them trying to one-up each other to impress the big boss, Mr. Stinson.

---