I chuckle. “Yes,heloves that one, but I hate it at this point. There are days I think if I have to see another animated forest animal, I’ll lose my mind.”
Before Troy can respond, we’re interrupted by several dings alerting me to text messages. I don’t want to be that person who’s constantly looking at her phone, especially in the middle of a conversation, so I ignore it. Before I know what I’m doing, I look back at Troy, and a thought pops into my head, rapidly making its way to my lips.
Maybe it’s the aroma of the freshly brewed coffee I made, but tonight is nice, and I’m not quite ready for it to end. It’snormal,and I like that. Plus, I want Troy and I to have a good relationship so we can continue to co-parent well. I’ve spent the last eighteen years with this man. Just because we won’t be married anymore doesn’t mean I don’t care about him or that we can’t be cordial.
“Do you want to have a cup of coffee before you go?”
Troy glances around the room as if I might be talking to someone else and then rubs a hand over his mouth. He sticks both hands in the pockets of his jeans. I know this is one of his tells when he’s nervous or stressed. He watches me quietly, and I don’t like that he had to think about it. I assumed he’d be all about spending time together.
“Sure, if you don’t mind.”
I pour the cups, and Troy gets out the creamer. He reaches above the stove to the little shelf I had hung there years ago and grabs me one packet of the sweetener I use.
When we first sit at the table, we sip our coffee in silence. After a few moments, Troy glances up at me.
“How’s the new job going?”
I shrug. “It’s going okay. Everybody’s nice. I love my schedule, so I can still get the kids... I’m learning some things.”
It’s clear Troy hears the hesitation in my voice, and he watches me patiently.
“But...” he says.
I bite at my lower lip, feeling like I should be elated about the job I had wanted so badly. “Well, so far, it seems we have mostly big-name clients from the city. There aren’t any small local businesses represented. It makes me wonder who’s helping them. Do we accept them if they come to us or turn them away because they’re not big enough? That kind of thing.”
“Have you asked?”
“No, I’m too new there. I have to prove myself first.” I look down at my coffee cup and run my finger along the smooth ceramic rim. I think about how much I hated the staff meeting where everyone reviewed their client list and the status of the accounts. It was all significantly larger companies than anything we have here in Elladine.
“I’m studying for my test.” I’m eager to change the subject.
“That’s great, Shannon. I have no doubt you’ll pass that test with flying colors.”
He’s so sure of me. When did that happen?
“It’s really hard, Troy. Lots of people fail.” I glance at him and am surprised to discover I’m nervous, and I’m looking to him for reassurance.
“I know, I’ve read up on it. But you won’t fail.” His certainty comforts me. Wait? What? He’s read up on it. When? Why?
“I wish I had your confidence.”
I’m uncomfortable talking about me, so I change the subject, and Troy knows why. Nevertheless, he lets me, and we spend time talking about the kids and catching up on how they’re doing.
Before I know it, the coffee cups are empty, and disappointment settles over me. This is the most connection Troy and I have had since I asked for a divorce. Honestly, it’s the most connection we’ve had since well before that.
Troy wraps both hands around his cup—he always has to have something to still his hands when he’s uncomfortable—and looks down into the empty abyss of the ceramic. I don’t like that he’s doing it right now. That this is making him uncomfortable. I guess the reprieve from the way things have become is over.
“I guess I should get going. Thanks for letting me stay for dinner and coffee. I appreciated the extra time with the kids. And it was nice catching up.”
“Geez, you don’t have to thank me. I want you to be with the kids as much as you want.”A hint of something—pain, or anger, maybe—flashes in his eyes, but it’s gone as fast as it came on. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that you got the kids last minute like that. I don’t plan on making that a habit, and I’ll make that clear if it continues to be something they push. My altered schedule is something they agreed on when I took the job, so...”
“It’s never a worry, Shannon. They’re my kids. I love them. I’ll always take any time I can get with them.”
My phone dings again, and I realize I never looked at the first few texts that came across earlier.
“You should check that. That’s a couple of times now,” Troy says.
He stands and grabs both of our cups, and my eyes follow him as he walks over to the dishwasher. I glance down at my phone.