The appointment is in Pascagoula. “What kind of appointment are we talking about?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“No. We struck a deal. I teased you and then you revealed the surprise in exchange for a blowjob.”
“While that is true, you only sucked my dick once, which means I only told you about one surprise. There are other surprises.”
“Jude Dawson Wescott! You played me.”
He chuckles. “No, my love. You’re the one who tried to play me, but instead, you’re the one who got played.”
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“Don’t be mad.”
“I think I will be.”
“Well, you won’t be mad for long because you’re going to love this next surprise.”
“What is it?”
“Forget it. I’m not telling you.”
I tug at the button on his jeans. “Not even if I—”
“Nope. Not even for that.”
“Do I need to change clothes?”
“What you’re wearing is fine, but you might want to take a jacket just in case.”
“Are you taking me out on a boat?”
“No boat.”
“Crabbing?”
“No crabs.”
“Fishing on the pier?”
“No fish. Stop trying to guess. You’re never going to figure out what it is.”
“Lunch?”
“What is it about surprises that you hate so much?”
“I think it goes back to my mother. Hersurprisesfor me, as she liked to call them, were always a new medicine or a new doctor or therapist. Sometimes it was a lie to get me to a behavioral-health facility. I can’t remember ever getting what kids would consider normal surprises.”
It was never a surprise trip to Disney World or the zoo. Never a new dress. Not even a surprise birthday party.
“I will never do anything like that to you. If I have a surprise, I promise it is something good that you’re going to love. You can always trust me about that.”
“I know I can trust you. It’s just that my first instinct is always to distrust and expect something bad. It’s difficult to get beyond that when it’s all I’ve ever known.”
Dawsey pulls me into his arms and squeezes. “I’m going to consistently show you that you can trust me with everything in your life, surprises included.”
“I trust you. Please don’t think it’s you that I struggle with. It’s more habit than anything.”