Page 49 of The Soul Never Forgets

“Because there’s nothing in the world like finding out that you’re having a baby.” I should know. I went through it four times as Augustina.

Well, five times actually. We lost one baby early on.

“Do you want children?” he asks.

“I do. I want four.”

“I’ve never wanted children. Devin didn’t want them either. She was adamant about never changing her mind, which is why I thought she would make a good wife for me. But my feelings about children began to change about a year ago. I started imagining what it would be like to start a family. I pictured four little ones when I dreamed about it in my head. But I never pictured her as their mother. I didn’t realize that until now.”

“Now you can picture our family with me as the mother of your children.”

“And as my wife.”

Normal people don’t meet and begin talking about marriage and kids in a week. In fact, it would be downright insane to do that, but we aren’t normal people. We’ll never be those people who get divorced because we couldn’t make it work.

“People will say we’re nuts for meeting and getting married so fast.” It wouldn’t be the first time I was called crazy.

“Let ’em say what they like.”

“I can’t decide if I think my mother will be happy because I’m marrying a psychotherapist and she’ll feel as though she can pass the torch to you regarding the management of my mental health care, or if she’ll be mad because she’s no longer in control of it.” I’m guessing the latter. She takes great pleasure in micromanaging me.

“I can already tell that meeting your mother is going to be an absolute pleasure.”

“You’re handsome, intelligent, and successful. She’s going to be enamored by you. And she’s also going to wonder why you’re with me. She’ll try to sabotage our relationship. She always does.” I wish I knew why she was so determined to see me unhappy. All I ever wanted was her love.

Until I didn’t.

Dawsey is a psychotherapist. Her understands the thought processes of the human brain. Maybe he has some insight as to why she treats me the way she does. “Why would a mother do that to her daughter?”

“I would need to know a lot more about your mother to understand what drives her behavior.”

“Maybe she’s the reincarnation of Marguerite or Benjamin.” They probably made a pact with the devil so they could come back and make me miserable in this life since they failed in the last one.

“An interesting hypothesis.”

“It isn’t really a hypothesis. I was just thinking out loud.”

“We’ve lived on in another life. Who’s to say they haven’t as well? It’s something to think about. Your psychic friend… what is her name again?”

“Miss Seraphine.”

“That’s something you should bring up next time you speak with her.”

I haven’t seen Miss Seraphine in a while. I need to make a trip to Jackson Square to visit her. I’m sure she’d love to hear that everything she predicted about Dawsey came to pass.

“I’m not sure I care enough to talk about my mother to Miss Seraphine.” I’m so over her, the Lebeaus, and anyone else who is out to steal my joy.

“Your mother has wounded you your entire life. It’s something you need to deal with.”

“Is that a suggestion from my lover or a professional opinion from my therapist?”

“Both.”

“I’m twenty-nine years old, and I’ve endured twenty-five years of pain inflicted by that woman. I’m not interested in repeatedly stitching a wound that she’s going to slash open with a dull, rusty knife each time it shows signs of healing.” It’s cruel and she enjoys it.

“That’s probably one of the most poignant statements I’ve ever heard made by the child of a dysfunctional parent.”

“A dysfunctional parent… that’s a good description for her.”

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