Page 72 of Play It Off

Oh fuck. I sound like I’m growling, which I suppose I am. I hate how he just said that about her. How he dismissed my mother completely and made her agree with him. He doesn’t even know Sienna. God, he’s such an asshole.

“As a matter of fact, I’m in love with Sienna Cooper.” The moment I say the words out loud, I know I’m speaking the truth. I love her.

I do.

She’s got a good heart. An ambitious mind—she’s going to become the ice cream queen of Santa Mira; I just know it. And she’s got a great body.

Oh, and the most beautiful heart of any human being I’ve ever known. That woman—my woman—she gets me. I need her like I need air.

“That’s just your dick talking.” Dad grimaces, and Mom drops her head as if she’s embarrassed.

“No, it’s not.” I jump to my feet, eager to get the hell out of this restaurant and away from my dad. “I love her. I’m in love with her. And hopefully she’s in love with me.”

Is she? She acts like she is, but we’ve never said that to each other. I need to tell her. Right now. Tonight.

“She’s probably in love with your money,” Dad mutters, shaking his head. “You can’t trust this girl, Gavin. I know the Coopers. They’re flat-ass broke. Don’t have a pot to piss in, and I’m sure she’s latched on to you because she takes one look at you and has stars in her eyes. Well. More like moneybags.”

I’m seething, my hands curled into fists, my vision nothing but hazy red. “Fuck you for saying that about her. You don’t know her. She’s smart and ambitious and sweet. She’s fucking beautiful, and I’m a lucky bastard that she even wants to be with me. I don’t deserve her.”

Dad’s expression and his voice are both ice cold. “You better watch what you say, son. I’d have no qualms smacking you across the face for what you just said to me.”

I don’t even care. He doesn’t scare me. He hasn’t for years, but the man does know how to get into my head, and damn it, I let him every time. I need to stop.

I need to grow up and be my own man. Fuck this guy.

Glancing around the busy restaurant, I return my gaze to my father, seeing him for exactly what he is. A small miserable man who’s nothing but a bully.

“I dare you to try.” My voice is deceptively soft. “Come on, Dad. Smack me. I know you want to.”

He doesn’t move from his chair. Just glares at me, his nostrils flaring. If I’d followed in his footsteps, if I’d allowed his resentment and his anger to seep into me, I’d be a walking, talking, identical version of him, and I refuse to carry on the cycle.

“That’s what I thought,” I say after he doesn’t respond, nodding. I go around the table and give my mother a quick kiss on the cheek. “Text me, Mom. I’d like to get together with you soon. Just the two of us.”

I don’t bother saying anything to my father, and he doesn’t utter a peep either. Though I can feel his icy glare following my every step as I make my way out of the restaurant. I’m staggering a little, drunk off three expensive cocktails, and I push through the front entrance, shivering when the cold air washes over me. The restaurant we’re at isright on the water, not too far from the harbor, and I take a deep breath, the salty scent of the ocean filling my lungs.

No one chases after me, least of all my father. No apologies, noI didn’t mean what I said.I’m alone. A feeling I’ve been familiar with for years.

But then I remember I’m not alone at all. I have my friends and my teammates and my coaching staff and my girl.

Sienna.

I whip my phone out of my pocket, bring up the Uber app, and order a car, typing in that I want it to drop me off at Charley’s. The team will be there, and if I’m lucky, so will Sienna. And even if she hasn’t arrived yet, that’s okay. I can get even more drunk before she shows up. I know having her by my side will make me feel better, but I need to forget this entire dinner ever happened. And alcohol is the only answer.

Chapter Twenty-SevenSienna

Two months.

Gavin and I have kept up the pretense of not being into each other for two long months, and let me tell you, it’s pure torture. But there’s also a sense of freedom to it, as weird as that sounds. Before, I would stress about Gavin and worry that he was out screwing around with other women. Always lamenting to myselfWhy not me?

Now I don’t have to worry about it. The only person that man is screwing around with is me, and oh my God, when we’re finally together during those late nights and stolen moments, he uses and abuses my body in the most thrilling ways possible. I didn’t think it could be like this. Sex. A relationship. Even though it’s a secret and no one really knows about us, that’s exactly what it is.

A relationship. The very best one I’ve ever been in.

Keeping our distance in public allows Gavin to fully concentrate on football and school. The two top priorities in his life, which I completely understand. I do. And truly, I’m able to prioritize things in my life as well. School, work, and myself, though not necessarily in that order. I’m even taking an extra course because I’ve pretty much stopped going to the parties and get-togethers at my brother’s house all the time. There’s no point anymore. I mean, yeah, I’ll go there and hang out with Ever,who’s now in a full-fledged relationship with Nico, and he’s occupying most of her time, which I totally get. But otherwise, I stay away from the house—oh, and my brother because I feel guilty over my secret. They all think I’ve been avoiding Gavin, but they’re wrong.

There’s no need for me to always hang around the team and wait for Gavin to pay attention to me anymore, and that’s where the freedom comes in. I’m liberated from my own self-defeating thoughts. I’ve never felt more sure of myself in my life, and it’s wild to contemplate.

I thought having a secret relationship with Gavin would annoy me. Devastate me. Make me feel like I’m not good enough for him, believing he’s not willing to share me—us—with everyone in his life. That’s not the case. He told me recently that once they’re deep in playoff season, he thinks we should reveal ourselves as a couple. Just hearing him say those words made me nervous, but he’s right that we have to come clean sometime. But does it make sense to do it during the playoffs? That’s when the stress ramps up for everyone, especially Gavin. Nico and Ever are out in the open now, and no one gives them too much grief, from what I can see. Oh, women still have something to say to Nico because he’s sickeningly attractive, but Ever is so confident that man is hers, she has nothing to worry about.

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