Page 48 of Play It Off

Well. I guess she told me. And maybe she’s right. Gavin doesn’t see my worth, so why am I wasting my time on him? We had sex. And it was amazing. He said so himself, using all sorts of adjectives to describe how good it was between us.

Only to tell me to be patient and wait for him. I am tired of waiting for everyone. Waiting for someone to notice me. Waiting for something to happen to me. I need to take control of my own life and make things happen. Make friends. Make a man notice me and want me.

My phone buzzes with a text from where I left it on the dining table, and I get up to go check who it’s from.

Ryland: Hey. I have a question for you.

Speaking of a man noticing me ...

Me: What’s up?

I watch as he types, my gaze focused on the gray bubble and the dots moving inside. Women’s intuition is kicking in big time, and I know, I justknowhe’s going to ask me out again.

Ryland: Are you busy tonight?

He’s asked me this question a couple of times before, and I always blow him off. Yet he keeps coming back for more, which is surprising.

I should say yes. I don’t want to lead him on, but who am I waiting around for again? Nothing is ever going to happen with Gavin. I could continue down the same path we started, but he’s just using me. And now that I’ve had sex with him? My feelings are even more invested. He says he doesn’t want any distractions, but at this moment, I’m desperate for one.

And Ryland might be it. I don’t have romantic feelings toward him, but that’s only because I haven’t let myself have them. He might be short, but he’s not so bad.

Oh my God, I sound awful even in my own thoughts.

Me: I’m free. What do you have in mind?

Ryland: I was hoping I could take you to dinner. What do you say?

A dinner date. That sounds serious. We need to go somewhere casual. I need his entire interaction to remain casual because I am merely testing the waters.

Me: Okay! What time and where do you want to meet?

See? Casual. Meet him somewhere. Don’t let him pick you up.

Ryland: I was thinking I could come pick you up and take you there.

Me: It would be easier if I just met you. Do you like Mexican food?

Ryland: It’s my favorite.

Me: How about Hector’s? I could meet you there at seven.

Ryland: That sounds perfect. See you then.

I set my phone on the table, digging my teeth into my lower lip. I shouldn’t do this. Shouldn’t lead this guy on when I’m not interested in him, but who says that I’m not? I need to expand my horizons. Get out of the Gavin-induced haze I’ve been in. He can’t have sex with me and then expect me to wait around for him to get his act together. That’s not fair.

Life isn’t fair. I know this. The only way I can get over someone is to get under someone else. Isn’t that the saying?

My stomach literally lurches at the thought. No way am I going to have sex with some other guy so soon after being with Gavin. That is not my style. But can I go out to dinner with a male friend and see if there’s a spark?

I don’t think there’s a crime in that.

Chapter EighteenGavin

It’s Friday night, and none of us have any plans beyond the usual. It’s a bye week, which means no game on Saturday, and it sucks that we’ve been run so hard during practice this week. But Coach and everyone else on staff wanted to prove to us that they mean serious business. They’ve dropped a few guys from the team who couldn’t cut it. Mostly younger players who don’t have the stamina or mental capacity to play at this level.

It’s a test. Like a gauntlet to get rid of the riffraff, as Porter described the ones they cut. We all have to suffer along with everyone else during this time period, and quite frankly, it sucks. This is why I think Nico and Coop are putting together an epic party tomorrow night. We need to blow off a little steam.

I wouldn’t mind blowing off a little steam tonight, either, but no one seems into it.

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