Page 30 of Play It Off

And then there’s Sienna. Right now, I need her the most. I like having her as a friend, but there’s more to it. More to us. She’s inserted herself into my life, and I allowed it to happen. I wanted it.

I want her.

I’ve been a selfish motherfucker for most of my life, but I’m always careful around her. I don’t want to ruin it. Ruin her. Ruin my friendship with Coop. I’m tired of holding back and not giving in to my feelings. This girl ... means a lot to me. I care about her. And I know she cares about me too.

I don’t want to mess this up.

Sienna doesn’t say a word while she watches me strip, and I have to admit, having her appreciative gaze on me is a boost to my ego, which is feeling battered tonight. Not that I’ve told anyone why.

Tugging back the comforter, I crawl into bed and then pat the empty space beside me. “You should join me.”

“Gavin ...” Her voice is filled with caution, and I see the look on her face.

She’s terrified. And I did that to her. All the back-and-forth over the years has come to this.

“Please?”

That single word sets her into motion. She’s toeing off her shoes and shimmying out of her jeans, kicking them aside. She keeps on the Dolphins T-shirt, and for a brief moment, I imagine her wearing my jersey. My number. That familiar possessive feeling rises within me, growing with every second that passes, and I tell myself to calm the fuck down.

She joins me in bed, sliding under the comforter and pulling it over her body. She rolls over onto her side, facing me, and I do the same, facing her. It’s dark in my room, though the blinds are cracked,letting in streams of light from the full moon outside. I stare at her face, drinking in her striking features, and I wonder what the hell is wrong with me that I won’t make a serious move on her.

“What’s bothering you?” she asks. I part my lips, ready to tell her, but she speaks right over me. “And don’t say it’s nothing, because it’s fairly obvious something is eating at you.”

For someone who avoided me for years, she certainly knows me well. “I spoke to my father earlier. He called me.”

Sienna frowns. “When?”

“Right after the game, when we were in the locker room. The conversation—didn’t go well.” It never does.

She remains quiet, and I have a feeling she’s trying to choose her words carefully. “What in the world did he say to you besides ‘good job’ and ‘congrats on winning the game’?”

“Nothing positive.” I release a ragged breath. “He told me I played like shit today.”

“That’s not true.” She sounds indignant on my behalf, which is exactly what I was seeking from her. I need that blind loyalty of hers tonight. Maybe it’ll ease the sting from my father’s criticisms. “Did he not watch the game? You were great out on that field!”

“Maybe,” I hedge. I’m full of doubt, thanks to that phone conversation with dear old Dad. He lit into me from the moment I said hello, and I couldn’t even tell you why. Maybe because he lost control of my life a long time ago and it still pisses him off to this day? The man acts like he holds a serious grudge against me, and I don’t know what the hell I ever did to him to make him feel this way. Maybe it’s because I was born?

Jesus.

“Hey.” She grabs hold of my face, her fingers pressing into my skin as she stares into my eyes. “Don’t listen to him. Coop has mentioned you don’t have the best relationship with your father, but don’t let his words get in your head.”

I nod once, trying to absorb what she’s saying, but it’s difficult. I can’t block out what he says, no matter how hard I try.

“Seriously.” She gives my head a little shake, like she can rattle out the years of negativity my father has spewed at me. “Don’t let him ruin your confidence. You’re Gavin fucking Maddox. One of the best college quarterbacks to ever play.”

A smile curls my lips. “I don’t know about the ‘to ever play’ part.”

“You know what I mean.” She cups my cheeks, her touch turning gentle. “You shouldn’t ever doubt yourself, Gavin. That’ll only make everything worse. Whenever Coop gets too in his head, he does terrible. It messes with his game, and he’s created a ritual where he puts in his AirPods and tunes out the world before every single game.”

She’s right. He does do that, and we all leave him alone. Maybe I should start something like that, too, but my team needs me. I’m their leader. Coop is a team captain, too, but it’s different when you’re the QB. And I want people to look up to me, to seek me out so I can give them advice. I dole out the positivity because it feels good. Something I learned from my dad, who was too hard on me. Eventually that shit eats you alive.

“You need to stay confident and believe in yourself,” she adds. “You’re a great quarterback, Gavin, and your team needs you just as much as you need them. You’ve got this. I know you do.”

I nod, savoring the feel of her hands on my skin. How she’s completely focused on me and nothing else. “You make it sound easy.”

“I know it’s not.” Her voice softens. “But I have faith in you.”

“At least someone does,” I mutter.

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