Page 15 of Play It Off

“It’s not like we don’t get along. I stay out of her way and she stays out of mine.” Well, this sounds familiar—like my relationship with Gavin. “I don’t see her often, because she’s either in school or at work or with her girlfriend. She’s not a bad roommate,” I admit. “We lived together in the dorms for two years, and we agreed we should try to find an apartment together. At least now I have my own room and bathroom.”

I reference my own bedroom to remind him of what happened between us when we were in that dorm room. On my bed. I still can’t forget it.

“Wild.” He rubs his chin, a little habit of his that he does often. “And she has a girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Her name is Lizzie, and she’s the sweetest. I think she makes Destiny a little nicer.” It’s not that Destiny is a complete bitch, but she always seemed on edge, especially when we were in the dorms. Then she met Lizzie and became nicer. This is her first relationship with a woman, and when I asked her what the difference was versus being witha man, Destiny said, “I never have to explain my moods or why I’m acting the way I am. She just gets it.”

Makes total sense.

“Whatever works, right?”

I appreciate how Gavin accepts my answers, and when he does question me, it’s because he’s genuinely curious. That’s what it feels like, at least.

“I don’t live too far from campus either,” Gavin continues. “And I was just headed home.”

“Oh.”

“Want to walk together?”

“You walked to campus?”

“Always. Nico is the only one who’s so lazy he drives to campus when it takes him, like, less than five minutes.” Gavin grins and I smile too.

Nico enjoys driving his truck everywhere. Plus, whenever anyone needs something he’s the first one to offer to go get it. He drives the guys home from practice when they’re dog tired since the stadium is on the farthest end of campus. That walk can be daunting, depending on the circumstances.

“Their new roommate has a car,” I tell him. “And she said Nico gave up his spot in the driveway so she wouldn’t have to park on the street. Her car got broken into the day she moved in with them, and now she has nothing.”

Poor thing. I felt so bad for her when she told me about it.

“Dollar mentioned that to me. He also said you offered some of your stuff to her.” He sends me a look I can’t decipher. “That was nice of you.”

Him saying that reminds me I need to go through my clothes that I was going to get rid of and put aside stuff that might work for Everleigh, though there might not be much. We’re not exactly the same size. “I can be a nice person when I want to be. We’re supposed to meet up later.”

“You and Everleigh?”

“Yeah. She’s really nice.” I hope we can be friends. I miss having someone around I can gossip with. Commiserate with. Just being able to have girl time with her will be nice. Growing up, at one point I wanted to be my brother. And if I couldn’t be him, I wanted to chase after him and spend all my time with his friends. They tolerated me because, as one of them told me a long time ago, I wasn’t too girly.

I was a tomboy at heart and in spirit until around eleven, when I realized some of Coop’s friends were cute. I didn’t stop hanging around them after the realization, though. Instead, I took advantage of having a bunch of football players around me all the time and even dated a few in high school. The relationships all fizzled out, save for one during my senior year, and he was my first and has been pretty much the only serious boyfriend I’ve had.

Marc was cute and popular, and at the end of it all, he turned out to be a complete cheater. I gave him my heart and my virginity. He was my senior prom date, and we walked together at graduation, and at a grad party one of our friends was having, I found him and said friend making out in her bathroom. I was devastated. I eventually got over it and was glad to start college single and ready to get my party on.

Then my crush on Gavin came to complete fruition and sort of ruined my life. Well, that’s dramatic, but still. I’ve dated guys. Even had sex with a couple of them, but ultimately, I only want one man and he’s unattainable.

Despite walking with him back to our respective apartments, everything about this man screams off limits—and those limits are ones I set for myself.

“She seems nice enough.” Gavin shrugs. “I think Nico is into her.”

“Oh God. I worried about that.” I rest my hand against my chest, shaking my head. Nico is a great guy, but he is far from boyfriend material. The man walking beside me is the same, but he doesn’t publicly go through an endless stream of women.

Or maybe Gavin is more discreet. I’m not sure. He is Mr. Mysterious, after all.

“It’s only because she’s new. And he has to see her every day, so he’s tempted. He’ll get over it.” His nonchalant words make me wonder if that’s what he did with me. Was he only interested because I was new, but then he got over me quick?

Can’t think about it, won’t think about it. If I concentrate on that theory too much, I’ll get mad. And then tell him to shove it. When I’m supposed to be his friend.

This is more difficult than I thought it would be.

We come to a stop at an intersection, waiting for the light to change, and this is the moment when we could possibly separate. I need to go right, but he might cross the street and keep heading for the endless row of apartments that is on the other side. They’re newer. Nicer. Whereas my apartment complex has seen better days.

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