Page 9 of Canadian Wild: Love

He nods at my clothes. “I’m gonna step back out and let you get undressed. When I come back in, I’ll start a fire and we’ll get you warmed up in no time.”

Nodding my head, I watch him grab his coat again and head out into the night, shivering. The little black and white pup bounds over to the door, whining.

“What’s the matter, little guy? You have to go potty?” I feel like an idiot. I don’t have children but I’m baby-talking to this damn dog like it can understand me. I push his little body out of the way with my foot and open the door, peering around it.The big shadow on the porch pulls away from the darkness and moves towards me.

“Are you done already?” His dark eyebrow quirks upward and his firm lips twitch into a smile when I shake my head. “No. I’m sorry I’m not. But the dog is whining and I think it might need to go out.”

He nods his dark head. “Ah. Well, I’ll just take him then while you get some dry clothes on.”

“I don’t have any.”

“I figured.” He nods towards the house. “There’s a little chest over in the corner that has some spare clothes. They’re all mine, nothing girly, but you’re welcome to find something in there that will get you covered and warm.”

He pulls the door back open and grabs the puppy that’s bouncing around by my feet. “Come on, little man. Let’s get you to the bathroom.”

And he steps away with the dog, disappearing into the darkness. I watch until there’s such an ache in my chest that I can’t stand it and my fingers rub at it absently.

I don’t know what’s going on with that beautiful man, but I know damn well I need to keep myself under lock and key until I can get out of here.

Because one of the two males that just disappeared into the darkness is going to steal my heart and I know I can’t stop it. But I sure as hell hope that whatever happens, I don’t have any regrets. Right now, it feels like this whole trip might end up a regret and that guts me. I’ve dreamt of this so long that it seems wrong to feel that way, but I feel some wayward part of my heart, some part that hasn’t been totally annihilated by my ex, struggling to awaken and wrap itself around the man and the pup and I just can’t afford to make myself that vulnerable. There’s too little of me left. Too little to work with and too littleto give away with willy-nilly feelings that I have no business feeling.

This is just a blip in the road of my salvation. I just have to keep going and it will all work out. Keep going and don’t look back to see where they are.

Whatever happens, they belong here and I don’t. I just need to keep that thought in my head and my heart and I’ll be just fine.

Seems like it should be easy but when that knock at the door sounds and I hear his deep, husky, growly voice ask, “You done in there?” That pulse in my clit starts up again. This time with me surrounded by the scent of him, cuddled up in a warm flannel and too-big socks that are warm and toasty and full of images of what he must look like in them.

My eyes widen when he steps into the room, his big body seeming to eat up all the air, leaving me gasping for breath and wanting his big body to pounce.

His deep blue eyes darken and I know he feels it too. This insane punch to the gut and pull like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

He’s stronger than me though. He sets the wet puppy down and grunts when it shakes and wriggles its pudgy little body out, soaking him again and making me turn and squawk as wet drops hit my cold skin.

“Hang on, I’ve got towels,” he says and steps away, leaving me somehow trapped in darkness even though he’s lit another oil lamp and its light has made the room glow with a warmth like I’ve never felt before.

I don’t know why I seem to want a perfect stranger, but that shit needs to stop. I don’t even know the man.

And that’s the way things need to stay. For my sanity and possibly his. I can see the scars on both of us and they’redeep. It’s best if I just shove all those weird feelings down and concentrate on getting out of here.

Even though I press at the ache in my chest when I think of leaving this big, burly guy with the cautious smile and dark blue gaze.

Some aches just mean that there’s still some life there, but it doesn’t mean to risk the damage that ache can cause. No fucking way I’m risking a damn thing. It’s too late for me. It’s always been too late for me.

That’s just the way it’s gotta be.

CHAPTER 6

Emile

Isit and stare at her as she sleeps, wondering if I should crawl under the blanket with her. I’m shivering even though the little room is warm. The fire is going and the flames dance around, landing on her soft round cheekbones and her pale skin, warming it right up until she’s a vision of warmth and light. A goddess of the night, resting in her slumbers until something wakes her and she shakes out her long, wild, light red hair, rising to fool some idiot man into thinking that she’s more than any other woman out there. That she’s honest and forthright. That she’s that rare beauty out there that just needs a man to let her unfurl her metaphysical wings and spread her love and joy around like a butterfly flitting to and fro and dancing on the effortless breezes of life.

Life isn’t effortless. It’s hard and dirty and crushes you under its stiletto heels when you least expect it.

I know for a fact that no woman is what I think she is. I thought I knew my wife. Thought I could trust her to always be faithful to me and to love me, take care of our life.

Only she didn’t. She cleaned out my accounts that I worked so hard to save for us and she fucked another man in my bed while I was at work. She did it all in plain sight and then whenshe cleaned out my account, she did it in such a way that I needed to be rescued out on the road which meant everyone found out about what was going on. Should have embarrassed the hell out of her to do it. To clean us out and leave me with nothing. She even took the house.

So don’t tell me that women are a rare, beautiful thing like honest and caring. Loyal and loving. All they are is traitors. You can’t trust them as far as you can throw them.

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