Page 32 of Sexting the Boss

Unknown Number: Hate is a strong word. Deep, soul-crushing resentment feels more accurate.

I huff out a laugh, rolling my shoulders as I lean back in my chair.

This is a mistake. I should keep this strictly to what it was last night.

But I find myself texting back anyway.

Me: What do you even do?

Unknown Number: Ugh, where do I begin? Data. Reports. Spreadsheets. You ever stare at an Excel file for so long that you start questioning the meaning of life?

Me: No.

Unknown Number: Okay, well, imagine you’re drowning. But instead of water, it’s numbers. And instead of dying, you just keep getting emails asking why you aren’t drowning faster.

I let out a low chuckle, shaking my head.

Me: That sounds miserable.

Unknown Number: Thank you. It is. In fact, I’m convinced this job was designed to slowly kill me so they don’t have to pay severance. Death by boredom should be covered under workers’ comp.

Me: Have you considered getting a new job?

Unknown Number: Have you considered carrying me away from my desk like a damsel in distress and setting me up with a life of luxury?

I smirk, my fingers hovering over the keys.

Me: I don’t do charity.

Unknown Number: Cold.

Me: Honest.

A pause, then?—

Unknown Number: Okay, so, no sugar daddy arrangement. What about vigilante justice? Like, if my boss goes missing, and you happen to not have an alibi, I won’t ask questions.

I laugh, running a hand down my face.

Me: As tempting as that is, I’m not getting rid of your boss just so you can be unemployed and broke.

Unknown Number: Rude. I’d make an excellent housewife.

I grin at the screen, feeling something I shouldn’t be feeling.

Something comfortable.

I tell myself this will fade out.

That it’s just a distraction, something to fill the dull moments between meetings, between calls, between the obligations that keep my life running in controlled, predictable order.

But it doesn’t fade.

Because she keeps texting.

And I keep answering.

Unknown Number: You can’t just deflect forever. I tell you all about my corporate suffering, but you never say anything about your job.

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