Page 71 of Reckless Harmony

“Since what?”

“Ever since I was a dick to my neighbour. I fucked up with her a few days ago.”

His mother gave him a sympathetic look. “Tell me what happened, sweetheart.”

He hesitated, not wanting his mother to know what a dick he’d been, but ultimately who else did he have to talk to? He was thirty-two years old and had no one but his mother to confide in and share with because letting other people see the real him felt too vulnerable.

You shared with Rayna. Even told her about your terrible relationship with your father.

He had, and even though he didn’t want to admit it, it felt good to talk to her. She’d listened without judgment, and her admiration over his accomplishments had sent a curious feeling of pride through him. He shouldn’t care what she thought of him, but if that was true, why had he spent the last few days acting like an ass to everyone around him because he’d hurt her feelings. And why was he tormented by the knowledge that Rayna would be on a date with Jasper tonight?

“Isaac?”

He sighed and told his mother what had happened. She listened quietly, and when he was finished, she sat silently for another few minutes before saying, “So, was she right?”

“About what?” he asked.

“Are you jealous that she’s going out with Jasper?”

“No, of course not,” he said.

She sat serenely, waiting for him to crack under the pressure, and he folded less than thirty seconds later.

“Fine, I’m a little jealous, but only because Jasper has convinced her he’s a good guy. He’s not, Mom.”

“Sadly, no, he isn’t,” his mother said. “But he wears a very convincing mask.”

“I’m not a good guy either,” he said.

She scowled at him. “One, you have never been the type to jump into a pity pool, and I don’t expect you to start now. Two, you are a good guy. There is a difference between being horrible and being blunt.”

“I went beyond blunt with her,” he said, “and now I feel terrible about it, and I don’t understand why I feel so goddamn terrible.”

“You feel terrible, not because you were blunt, but because you lied to her,” his mother said. “You’re attracted to her, Isaac. That’s plain to see.”

“Fine, I’m attracted to her. But I want her property more, and unless I can convince her I’m not the asshole I so often am around her, I’ll never get it. Pretending to be nice is a lot harder than it seems.”

“Then stop pretending and just be nice,” his mother said.

“I don’t know how,” he said.

Her scowl deepened. “Yes, you do, Isaac. At some point in the last decade, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re an asshole, but, dearest, that simply isn’t true. You’ve put up a shield, and you keep everyone around you at a distance, but it doesn’t need to be that way. There are good people out there, people who would care for and love you just as I do if you would let them. I hate seeing you so lonely.”

“I’m not lonely.” His throat had tightened, and he could barely get the words out.

Her look was loving but firm. “Yes, my boy, you are.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds before she said, “I want you to be happy, Isaac. And I think that if you let people in, give them a chance to see the real you, you’ll be surprised at the happiness it brings you. We aren’t meant to walk alone in life.”

When he didn’t reply, she said, “Will you try for me, Isaac?”

He cleared the rasp from his throat. “Yes.”

“That’s my boy.” She beamed at him. “I think the first person you should try being yourself with, being the genuinely nice person I know you are under all that gruffness, is Ms. Abrams. Not just because it might help you convince her to sell her property, but because you like each other.”

“Like each other? We’re not in grade school, Mom,” Stark said with a faint grin.

“Thank God,” she said. “You were shockingly boring as a child. It wasn’t until you became a teen that you got really interesting.”

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