Page 92 of Redeeming Harmony

“First, tell me why I can’t go down on you,” he said.

“You can.” Frustration tinged her words. “I just…”

He cupped her face and pressed a kiss against her mouth. “Tell me, Harper.”

She sighed. “In the past, I’ve been accused of being a selfish and inconsiderate lover. By more than one partner. So, I need to be extra aware of my tendency to get lost in my own… needs in bed.”

She smiled up at him, but it looked strained and unnatural.

“What did they say?” he asked.

“What does it matter?” She wouldn’t look him in the eye. “They had valid complaints, I listened, and now I do better.”

“I want to know,” he insisted. “Please, Harper.”

Looking uncomfortable and tense, she said, “I wanted to bring some toys into the bedroom. Toys designed to help me come. I suggested it because we were both pretty inexperienced at the time, and he had difficulty making me climax. But it was an inconsiderate request. I should have been more sensitive to how it would make him feel.”

“He was gaslighting you,” Nathan said.

She shrugged. “If he was, it wasn’t intentional. He was truly hurt by it, and he made a good point that he shouldn’t be punished and made to feel inadequate as a lover just because he could come when we had sex and I couldn’t.”

“That is some serious bullshit, Harper,” Nathan said.

When she didn’t reply, he said, “What did your other partners say?”

“You’re really killing the mood here, buddy,” she said.

He knew he was, but he couldn’t help it. He’d only been with Harper twice, but the idea that she could ever be considered a selfish lover was utterly absurd to him.

“What did they say?” he repeated.

“It was only one other partner, and he didn’t like that I usually wanted to ride him or be fucked on my hands and knees.”

“I am in no way seeing the connection to that and you being a selfish lover,” he said. “What guy doesn’t like a woman riding him?”

“It’s not that he didn’t like it,” she said, “but the same positions can get stale after a while. And when he realized that I wanted those two positions nearly every time because they made it easiest formeto come, he was understandably upset.”

“You know that a good partner wants to do everything he can to help his partner come, right?” he said.

“Sure,” she said. “Which is why they made good points about me being selfish and inconsiderate. I wanted them to have a good time, I did, but I wanted me to have a good time more. I often put a little more effort into getting what I wanted instead of considering what they wanted.”

“I think they had some insecurities about not being able to make you come the way they thought you should and were projecting those insecurities onto you,” he said.

“Oh God, now you sound like my old therapist,” she said. “It was a long time ago, and regardless of why they did it, it was a good eyeopener for me when it came to how I treated my partners, and it’s made me a better lover. I’m very good at giving my partner what they need in bed now, Nathan. That’s not a bad thing.”

“What about what you need in bed?”

She shrugged. “If the guy I’m with can’t make me come, I deal with it, and I don’t make a fuss about it. I go home to my perfectly acceptable collection of vibrators and make the magic happen as a solo event.”

“I’m all for a woman having vibrators and whatever other toys she wants to use in bed, but I also want to be clear that if you’re going home after fucking me and getting yourself off, you need to tell me. I’ll do whatever you need in bed to make you come,” he said.

She grinned up at him. “That’s not an issue with you. I promise.”

He slid his hands around her narrow waist. “Will you let me go down on you tonight, Harper?”

He could see the hesitation in her eyes, and his annoyance at her previous lovers started to feel a little like anger.

“I cannot impress upon you the urgency in which I would like to taste your pussy,” he said.

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