Page 122 of Sweet Harmony

“Connor? Lookat me.”

Kira’s softvoice dampened the edge of panic enough for him to take a deepbreath. Enough so he could almost think normally. Almost.

“Yeah?”

“Honey, is thepain really bad?”

He shook hishead. It wasn’t. The pain meds had taken care of it. His hand feltnumb, nothing more. Maybe that was the panic’s work though.

“I wish youwould have come back to my place,” she said.

He shrugged. Heknew what he had to do, and it would be easier on her if he did ithere. He didn’t want to break her heart in her own goddamnhome.

“Everything’sgoing to be fine,” she said.

He stared atKira’s sweet face. She actually believed it. Even though she wasthere when Connor woke up after surgery this morning. Even thoughshe heard what the surgeon said. She believed it.

The bitterlaughter spilled out of him, harsh and horrific and unstoppable.“You can’t be serious.”

“I am,” shesaid. “Your hand will heal, and you’ll be back to work in notime.”

“You heard whatthe surgeon said. It’s bad, Kira. Really bad. Even with physicaltherapy, I may not be able to move my fingers. I can’t exactly be adentist if I can’t move my fucking fingers.”

The panic wasmaking him shout. Kira didn’t flinch. She sat beside him and restedher hand on his thigh. “It’s okay. That was a worse case scenario.He thinks it’ll be fine.”

“Thinks. Great.That’s just great. The surgeon thinking I’ll be fine makes me feelso much better,” he said.

“I know you’rescared, but I promise you that it will work out.”

“I can’t workfor six weeks, Kira. And after the cast comes off… I may never beable to work as a dentist again. What part of that is working out?I have fucked my life.”

He took a deepbreath. Even worse, he had fucked Kira’s life. Just like he’dfucked up Lisa’s. He’d done something incredibly stupid and nowKira was going to pay for it.

“You haven’t,”she said. “Grant is a good guy and he’s not going to end thepartnership just because of an accident.”

More bitterlaughter spilled out. “It wasn’t an accident, Kira. I fucked upbecause I’m an idiot. You’d think I would have learned, butapparently, I’m just a goddamn moron. I’ve ruined my life andyours.”

“Mine?” Kirablinked at him. “How on earth have you ruined my life?”

“Don’t actdumb,” he snapped. “If I can’t work as a dentist, what the hell amI gonna do? Work at goddamn Walmart? You really wanna be with a guywho can’t keep a career? What do you think your friends, yourbrother, will say when I’m working at a gas station becauseI blew my chance at a careeragain?”

“They don’tcare what you do for a living. I don’t care,” Kira said. “I loveyou and I’ll love you whether you’re a dentist or not. It doesn’tmatter to me, Connor. People make mistakes and -”

“I won’t dragyou down with me. Lisa spent years with me being miserable andunhappy because I made a dumb mistake and because I was too weak tolet her go. I won’t do the same thing to you.”

“I am notLisa,” Kira said. “Don’t compare her to me, Connor. It isn’tfair.”

“What isn’tfair, is expecting you to live with the consequences of my stupidmistakes.”

“Stop it,” Kirasaid. “I love you and I’m with you through the good and the bad.That’s the way love works.”

He shook hishead, staring numbly at the cast. “I’m not destroying your life theway I destroyed Lisa’s. You should go.”

“No,” she said.“You need me.”

“Please, justleave, Kira,” he said. “I don’t want to date you anymore.”

“You’re lying,”she said.

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