Page 66 of Perfect Harmony

“Maybe I keep turning you down because youdon’t do it for me in bed, Addison!” Harrison shouted.

There it was. The very thing she’d worriedit might be. What, in her heart of hearts, she knew would be the reason. Her angerevaporated, leaving her dull and listless as she slumped against the chair.

“Look, I’m not trying to hurt you, but youwant an explanation, right?” Harrison said. “So, here it is. You’re not sexy.You’re not sexy and you’re not good in bed, and you’re not experimental enough.”

“I would have been willing to try,” she saidthrough numb lips. “If you’d only asked, I would have tried.”

Harrison scoffed. “We both know that isn’ttrue. You’re not like Crystal, okay? You’re a good girl and you’d never be intothe stuff that I like. I’m doing you a favour, all right? You shouldn’t bemixed up in this kind of stuff anyway.”

“Are you… are you kink shaming yourself?”she said.

He flushed and looked away. “Look, I stilllove you, all right? I still want to marry you… eventually. We’ve beentogether for so long, we lost our virginity together for God’s sake, and Ithink it would do us both some good if we took a break.”

“A break,” she said.

He nodded eagerly, like she was a teacher’spet who’d given the correct answer. “Yeah. We can both do some exploring, maybetry out some sexual relationships with other people. It wouldn’t be love oranything like that – just getting certain things out of our system before wesettle down and get married.”

He took her silence for agreement and continuedon. “A break will be good for us. We’ve been together since high school, and neitherof us have ever been given the chance to sow our wild oats. Look, I likecertain things in the bedroom, yeah, but give me a few months to work those outwith a woman who can actually give me what I need, and then I’ll be good. It’llbe out of my system and I’ll be ready to settle down and marry you.”

He reached over and took her hand. “It’syou I love, Addison. It’s you I’ll always love. But, you gotta understand thatI have needs. You’re not good in bed, babe. You’re stiff and not that responsive,and you couldn’t give a good blowjob if your life depended on it. This littlebreak, the wedding postponement, will be good for both of us. I can be withsome women who know what they’re doing in bed, right? And once I’ve been with womenwho are good at sex – and I’m not talking about the kinky stuff because I swearI won’t make you do that, babe - I can give you some pointers about what theydid to please me.”

She stared silently at him and he squeezedher hand. “Look, I know you don’t have any complaints in the sex departmentwith me, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, I don’t know, have sex with anotherguy at least once. At the very least, sleeping with some random dude will showyou how good you have it with me, right?”

She wanted to be angry. She wanted to standup and rage and scream at him. But a debilitating sorrow was stealing into herbones, making her muscles ache and her skin warm. Maybe he was right. Maybethis really was all her fault. A part of her always worried that she wasn’t goodat sex, and Harrison’s waning interest in her had confirmed that fear. She’druined their relationship, was losing the man she loved, because she sucked inbed.

Shame washed over her and she fought backthe tears. She wouldn’t cry in front of Harrison. She was done crying infront of him. He would never see weakness from her again.

“Babe,” Harrison was still holding her hand,his fingers twisting the engagement ring around and around on her finger, “Iknow postponing the wedding stuff is gonna be tough, I know it’s gonna lose mesome money, but I need this. And you do too. A break will be good for us.You’ll see.”

She pulled her hand away from his andstared at the ring on her finger. This might be her fault, she might be toblame for the failure of her relationship, but she wouldn’t sit like a faithfuldog waiting for its master to come home. He could say he loved her all he wanted,but even she wasn’t stupid or naïve enough to believe that.

She stood, slipped the ring off her fingerand stared at the way the light glinted off the diamond then set it on thetable in front of Harrison. “Goodbye, Harrison.”

“It won’t be forever,” he called as she walkedout of the kitchen. “Do some exploring, babe. You won’t regret it. I’ll callyou in a few weeks! I love you!”

She closed the door with a soft click and climbedinto her car. Like before, she managed to drive a few blocks before her shakinghands and blurry vision made her pull over. Tears gushing down her cheeks, shecalled Harper.

“Honey?” Harper answered on the first ring.“How did it go?”

“It was my fault,” Addison said dully. “Iwas right. I don’t do it for him in bed and that’s why he cheated. He wantsto take a break. He still loves me, but he wants to do some exploring with otherwomen and he said that I – that I could sleep with another man too, if Iwanted.”

“That motherfucking rectum waffle,” Harperseethed. “Honey, don’t listen to a thing he said. He’s doing exactly what I saidhe would do. He’s gaslighting you.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Addison whispered.“I gave him his ring back and walked out and now I – I don’t know what to do.”

“The school year is finished. You can cometo New York,” Harper said. “You need to get away from there for a while.”

“I can’t,” Addison whispered. “I have so muchstuff to do now with cancelling the wedding. I can’t – I mean…”

“You can do most of it by phone, sweetheart,”Harper said. “Or it can wait a few days. It’s mostly Harrison’s money anyway,right?”

“Yeah,” Addison said. “My parents haveonly paid for a few things so far.”

“Then who fucking cares if you lose your deposits.Fuck that pompous nut box and his goddamn money. I’m looking at flights andthere’s one that leaves tomorrow morning. I can book it right now.”

“I…” Addison took a deep breath. “Yeah, bookit. I can’t be here, not right now.”

“Consider it done,” Harper said. “Packyour stuff, honey and I’ll email you your itinerary. I’ll see you tomorrow.Okay?”

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