Page 119 of Perfect Harmony

“He’s not out of trouble yet,” Warren said.“He’s woken up from the anesthesia, but his heart is in arrhythmia.”

“What does that mean?” Preacher said.

“His heart is beating irregular and toofast,” Warren said. “We have him on medication that should help regulate it.”

“Is he going to die?” Gideon rasped.

“The next twenty-four hours are critical forhim. The meds should fix the problem, but if they don’t…”

“He’ll die,” Gideon said.

Warren clasped his shoulder. “Tank isyoung and strong, Gideon. He has a good chance.”

“Can we see him?” Grace said.

“Yes, for a few minutes. He’s still prettygroggy. He’ll stay with us overnight, obviously, and we’ll call you if anythingchanges.”

“I should stay here just in case -”

Warren shook his head. “There’s no need,Gideon. You can’t sit back there with him and there isn’t anything you can dofor Tank sitting in these chairs. Go home and try and get some rest.”

He clasped Gideon’s shoulder. “You know thatHal’s my best tech and he’s working today. He’ll keep a close eye on Tank untilthe clinic closes, and our new vet will stay with him overnight. If anythinghappens, we’ll call you immediately.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

“Gideon, do you want something to eat? Ican make grilled cheese sandwiches or -”

“I’m not hungry.” He grabbed a beer fromthe fridge, opened it, and drank half of it in three large swallows.

“He’ll be okay.” Grace slid her arms aroundhim and kissed his chest through his shirt. “He’s gonna make it.”

“You don’t know that.” He pushed away fromher and drank the rest of his beer before grabbing another one. “You heardWarren. There’s a chance that he’ll still die.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean he will die. Tankis young and healthy and -”

“I should have fed him smaller more frequentmeals.” Gideon stared at Tank’s food dish sitting on the floor before kickingit across the kitchen. It smashed into the wall, leaving a scuff mark on thepaint, and Grace squeezed his arm.

“Honey, it’s okay.”

“It isn’t!” Her jerked free of her grip. “Iknew bloat was an issue and that feeding him smaller more frequent meals helps withthat. But I was too fucking lazy and so I fed him twice a day and now he’slying in that goddamn clinic sliced open and staples holding his fucking insidestogether, and it’s all my goddamn fault. He’s dying because of me! Because ofme!”

He slammed his fist down on the counter,relishing the stinging pain that travelled up his arm.

“He isn’t dying,” she said. “Yes, he’s notout of the woods yet because of his heart, but Warren didn’t say he’s dying. Honey,I know you’re afraid and I know you want to blame yourself, but Great Danes aresusceptible to bloat. It happens and it isn’t because of anything you did.All right?”

“It is my fault,” he said. “I lost him becauseI’m an idiot.”

“Stop acting like Tank is already dead. Heisn’t dead,” Grace said.

He turned on her, his fear and his anger boilingtogether until it felt like a basket of bees buzzed madly in the middle of hisbrain. “He’s going to die, Gracie! You know how I know that? Becauseeveryone I love dies. So, don’t sit there and tell me that he’s going to befine. Because I love him and when I love something… it fucking dies!”

He could see her trying to think of the gentlestway to tell him he was insane, and it flamed his anger into a raging inferno.

“I’m not crazy, Gracie! You think I don’tknow that you love me? I do, and I wish to fucking God that you didn’t becauseI can’t love you. I can’t! You think I’m being selfish because I won’t give youthe love you want from me, but I’m protecting you. Can’t you see that? I’mkeeping you safe because loving me is a fucking curse. You need to stay awayfrom me.”

“Gideon.” She reached for his hand and he turnedaway from her and stared out the kitchen window.

He clenched his hands around the counterwhen her soft hand rested on his back. “Honey, you’re afraid for Tank, and you’reupset and you’re not thinking straight. I’m not going to die just because youlet yourself love me. It doesn’t work that way. It isn’t -”

---