Page 27 of Perfect Harmony

“Of course, honey,” Addison said. “It wasgood that you were there for him.”

“Only, it turned into something more. He lookedat me, I meanreallylooked at me for the first time in what felt like years,and then we … we started kissing.”

She stared into her water glass, the memoryof that night blanketing her all over again. “It was one of the best momentsof my life. How’s that for awful? My best friend’s parents were dead, two peoplewho I loved and who treated me like their own kid, and I look back on the daywe buried them as being one of the best moments of my life because I kissed Gideon.I’m a monster.”

“Stop it, honey,” Addison said. “You’renot a monster. It’s just a case of… bad timing.”

“Yeah,” Grace said. “Anyway, he cut it offpretty quick, but I knew that he wanted me. I knew that he wanted something more.I could see it in his face, but when I brought it up, he shut me down so fast.He said Kira would lose it if we were together. He said it was a mistake and thathe wasn’t attracted to me and he was sorry for kissing me.”

“What happened then?” Addison said.

“I called him a liar and a coward, and thenI left.” Grace drained her water glass. “Things have been different betweenus since. When Kira wasn’t doing well and Gideon moved back home, I was…” shelaughed bitterly, “I don’t know what I was… thrilled, scared to death,confused. But it’s been awful. For the last three years, it’s one of twoextremes. He either acts like I’m a stranger he barely knows, or he tries to controlmy life and tell me what to do like he does with Kira and then we get into afight. Most of the time though, he just avoids me. He won’t look at me, he won’ttouch me, he barely says my name anymore. It’s like I’m a ghost to him.”

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry,” Addison said.

“I haven’t slept with a guy since the nightI kissed Gideon,” Grace said. “I haven’t even kissed a guy. I don’t want to.I think Lucas is into me and I don’t feel anything for him. It’s like my brainhas decided that if I don’t get to have Gideon, it doesn’t want any man. I’m gonnadie a spinster surrounded by guinea pigs.”

“Guinea pigs?” Addison said.

“I’m allergic to cats, remember?”

Addison smiled at her. “I’m pretty sureyou aren’t going to die a lonely guinea pig spinster.”

“You don’t know that,” Grace said.

“True, but it looks like maybe Gideon isstarting to realize he can’t keep denying his attraction to you. If I hadn’tinterrupted you in the hallway, he would have kissed you, Gracie. God, I’m theworst.” Addison scowled at her plate of food.

“It’s fine. I really think it was just amoment of weakness for Gideon and the next time I see him, he’ll be back to hisusual – you’re a ghost to me – self. And even if by some miracle, he isn’t, itdoesn’t matter. We can’t date.”

“Why not?” Addison said.

“Because he’s right. Kira would be upsetand grossed out. She looks at Gideon and me and sees brother and sister.”

“So she’s forced to change how she looks atthe two of you. It’s good for people to grow and change,” Addison said.

“And if she couldn’t? Then what?” Grace said.“I can’t lose her. Don’t take what I say next the wrong way because I know youlove me, but, like, you and Harper have always had your own thing going on,yeah? Like Kira and I do.”

“Yes,” Addison said.

“I feel like Kira knows me so well and she’sthe only one who truly loves and values me and I – I can’t lose that. It wouldkill me to lose her friendship, Addie. As much as I love Gideon, I can’t loseKira. If we start dating and Kira is upset…”

“But what if she wasn’t? What if she washappy for you?”

“What if she hated us?” Grace said.

“I don’t think she would,” Addison said. “Iknow you know Kira better than me, but still… she loves you and Gideon verymuch. She wants both of you to be happy.”

Grace took a deep breath. “There’s still theissue of Gideon trying to control my life. I’ve taken care of myself since Iwas a little kid, and I can’t stand the thought of someone else trying to controlme. I don’t need that – I can take care of myself.”

“Okay, but hear me out for a minute… you’vealways taken care of yourself because your parents were neglectful shits who -”

“They weren’t neglectful, just absent,” Gracesaid.

Lines appeared between Addison’s brows. “Theywere only a step above neglectful, honey. Making sure you were fed and clothedand went to school every day wasn’t nearly enough. How many basketball gamesof yours did they miss? How many times did they leave you alone at home sothey could go on a stupid mini vacation with just the two of them? They neverthrew you a single birthday party your entire childhood. If it hadn’t been forKira’s parents, you wouldn’t have any idea what a parent’s love is like. Your parentsdidn’t show you the love and the affection and the attention you deserve, and Ican’t tell you how much I hate them.”

“They’re just self-absorbed,” Grace said.

“They’re awful and I hate them,” Addisonsaid. “But my point is, you had to take care of yourself and now, as an adult,you take care of everyone around you. Kira goes through a major depression,you drop everything and move in with her for weeks to take care of her. Ibreak my ankle ice skating, you come over every single night and do about abillion little things for me because Harrison is busy at work. Harper needssomeone to drive the moving truck to New York, you volunteer.”

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