Page 17 of Chasing Sophia

“You can borrow some of my faith until you collect yours, babe.” I wasn’t exaggerating when I said she’s becoming one of the most important people in my life—maybe the most important one, even before my parents. When they died, it was sudden and unexpected. Their loss burned a part of my soul, but all I felt was grief and pain. Now, with Sophia, there’s a perpetual dreadfulness sitting on my lungs, making it difficult to breathe.

Her fingers drift back and forth over my stubble. “It’s important to you?” she asks and I nod.

You don’t know how much, firecracker.

9

SOPHIA

SeeingAsher in my mom’s house, sitting on the couch with one hand draped over the backrest, is surreal. As always, my mother has gone all out with the Christmas decorations. There are string lights and fresh wreaths on every window. A giant tree sits in the corner, adorned with all the ornaments we’ve purchased over the years. Asher almost looks out of place.

Unlike other days, he isn’t dressed in jeans and a pullover, but tonight he’s wearing a charcoal gray suit and a crisp white shirt. I wonder if, like his Patek Philippe wristwatch, which has been on his wrist since the dinner at Miss Tee’s, his suit is also borrowed as a part of some wardrobe test.

A gnawing worried sensation develops in the pit of my stomach every time I see Asher from a distance. The regal look on his face, the grace with which he carries himself. Even now, the way he tips his head and nods a thanks to Mom as she offers him a glass of eggnog. He’s controlled and classy, unlike most middle-class men, who are in a constant state of stress and panic, especially around the holidays.

Asher’s gaze meets mine, and the smile on his lips tips for a beat, making me nervous, but he regains composure so fast that I might have imagined the change in his expression.

“Do you know Sophia is going to play at the New Year’s Gala?” The pride in Mom’s voice distracts my wildly pacing heart. She doesn’t know Asher told me the news before it was publicly announced, and I’ve been unable to overlook the ominous cloud surrounding this happy news since that night.

“I can’t wait to hear her play.” Asher’s lips twitch into a mesmerizing smile, and as always, my insides flip at the sight of it.

I can’t shake this feeling in my gut that something is approaching that will shatter me into pieces, and I might not be able to piece everything back together.

“All okay?You’ve been lost all night,” Asher says as I walk him to his car. His arm wraps around my waist, and even in his touch, I feel a whisper of hesitancy.

It’s as if whatever is lurking on the sides is making us step back in this relationship rather than move forward. I hear Asher let go of a deep breath, and he opens the door of his car. My throat chokes as he leaves without saying anything to calm my insecurities. But instead of sliding into the driver’s seat, he grabs a small box wrapped in red-and-green paper.

“I got you something for Christmas.” He turns the box in his hand, as if unsure how to give it to me, simply or through some grand gesture. I, on the other hand, can’t help my overflowing emotions and throw my arms around him. After a moment’s surprise, Asher wraps his arms around me.

“Thank you so much for not leaving without a goodbye.” Before I can say more words that are probably nothing but remnants of my anxiety, I pull back. “Now, let me open it.”

He drops a box into my hands, but not before kissing my lips. “You’re gonna love it.”

“There’s my cocky, arrogant man.” I snort-giggle. How can this man turn my mood so fast is a mystery to me. “What the heck is this?” I tear through the exorbitant number of clear tape stripes.

“I don’t have much experience in wrapping gifts.”

“You don’t say.” I bite back my smile at the thought of Asher fighting with tape to hide whatever he bought for me. But when I finally tear the paper aside, my gasp echoes in the cold night. “Asher! It’s beautiful.” The wooden piano figurine, painted in black, with real keys and shiny metal strings, has my name written over the lid.

“A… colleague of mine does woodwork as a hobby. I asked him to make me this.”

The handmade piano, wrapped in poor packaging, is a dream gift, especially when I’m struggling with the uncertainty of Asher’s financial situation.

“This is the best Christmas gift.” I can’t hold back the rising of my toes and placing a kiss on his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner?” I loop my arms around his neck, my anxiety slowly slipping away.

“Yeah.” He grins. “I’m anxiously looking forward to dinner.”

The lights on our neighbor’s porch turn on, and I let go of Asher, but not before biting his earlobe and whispering, “I’m worth the wait, aren’t I?”

“God! You just made it so hard, woman.” At his teased words, my gaze slides to the zipper of his jeans and the noticeable bulge, but Asher tips my chin with one finger. “Don’t forget, I’ll be anxiously waiting.”

After throwing another grin toward me, he slides into his car and drives away.

The next day,my mom’s neighbor Patricia visits us with her newborn daughter in her arms. “I got some cookies.” She tips her head toward the bag dangling in her hand.

Patricia is almost my age, and two years back, she married her long-time boyfriend. We aren’t besties, but we’ve always been friendly. “Come in, Pat. And how’s our princess?”

“During the day, she’s an angel. It’s at night when she’s cranky. Hold her for me, please.” She puts the cute baby, wrapped in a pink blanket, into my arms.

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