Page 86 of Blitz'd

But being here with Zander is giving me a glimpse into the person I could have been if my life had been different.

My hand slips around Zander’s waist and I pull him against me—I feel his body tense for a second before he goes loose. He practicallymelts,and it just makes that weird feeling in my chest wind tighter.

I almost feel like I can’t breathe.

I feel like my entire world is shifting, and I can’t understand it—there’s a brand new pathway laid out in front of me, and I don’t have a fucking map.

I don’t have a goddamn thing but Zander Braithe and his fucking smile shining like the north star and promising he’ll lead me home.

I can’t do it.

I don’t know how to dothis.

But there’s one thing Idoknow how to do…

“I’m tired, Dimples. Let’s go to bed.”

Maybe I’m not as subtle as I think I am, because I can feel it when his body goes tense for another second before his fingers squeeze against my wrist.

“Sure.” He pulls out of my grasp long enough to give his mom a kiss, then fist bump his brother who is looking between the two of us with curiosity on his face. I have to wonder if he knows what I’m planning, or if he can see the panic trying to scramble its way out from behind the mask I’ve firmly slapped into place. Zander holds his hand out for mine and I take it, waving at his family as I do.

“See you two in the morning. Try to get up early enough that we can have breakfast before you have to head out, okay?”

“Of course, Mom.” Zander’s smile for her is all affection as he pulls me out of the room, and he heads to the left instead of toward the bedroom we’ve been sleeping in.

“Where are we going?” There’s a smile in my voice, though—he can read me too well. He knows exactly what I wanted from him just from the way I touched him, the way I said I was tired.

Maybe that’s a problem in and of itself, but that’s something to unpack later. Zander knowing how fucking horny I am for him constantly isn’t an issue. I haven’t been able to hide that from the first time I cornered him.

I’d much rather him focus on that than how lost I feel.

“We have this old camper that we used to take out for trips. It was a piece of junk, but we always had a good time.” Zander pulls me outside and we circle around the house, moving to the back yard to approach the vehicle in question. It looks run-down, well used… and that just makes that feeling in my chest twinge again.

Spending summers holed up in that with him—the thought of being curled up under the stars.

Of not feeling pressure, or anger, or…

“Gonna take me camping, Dimples?”

“No, but I thought you might like some privacy. I spent the entire summer before I went off to college tearing the interior out and fixing it up.” He pulls the door open and half shoves me inside, and after a few seconds, he clicks on a light. “I thought you might want to check it out, so I came out here earlier and made sure everything was all charged up.”

I glance around and actually let out a low, impressed whistle. From the outside, it really did look like a total clunker. You can tell Zander took pride in fixing it up, though—everything looks clean, and neat. It looks like he ripped out some of the interior to make extra space.

And in the back of the hallway, a door is open.

This little fucker wasn’t even gone for that long when he stepped out earlier, but if I’m not mistaken there arelightsflickering back there.

“You planned this?”

Zander’s wide grin is all the answer I need. He did do this.

For me.

Forus.

“I just thought you might want our last night here to be special… that’s all.” Zander’s cheeks heat, and he bites his lower lip. “And I wanted to show you how much it means to me that you came here. How much Iwantyou to be here.” He looks like he’s trying to work up to saying something else.

Something dangerous.

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