Page 60 of Romance Languages

I laughed at the joke, but a spark of jealousy hit my stomach.Of course there will be other guys, Seamus. That’s the fucking plan.

We sat in a different kind of silence than the one that had preceded the blow job. I held Julian’s hand over the center console. My mind played a highlight reel of what just happened. I…liked giving head. Or maybe I just liked giving head to Julian, which presented a whole set of complications.

Julian brought my hand to his mouth and gave me a peck on my knuckles. The world shut down around us.

“So what’s next on the list?” I asked, trying to distract myself.

“There’s only one thing left,” he said.

We both took a deep breath.

Sex.

The final frontier.

17

JULIAN

It was eight days until my grandparents’ anniversary party. Nine days until my birthday. Countdowns upon countdowns.

I was never a math person, but all I could think about was numbers. I spent Wednesday and Thursday night doing a deep clean of my apartment and finding a new tent vendor, all while fantasizing about Seamus deep throating me. I also bought a twenty-four pack of tissues. I would need them for all the jerking off I was doing over my straight friend.

On Friday, South Rock High held a pep rally for the basketball team, who were off to some divisional playoff. All these sports and their playoffs. Too much foreplay. Why couldn’t they just skip to the championship game?

I walked my eighth period French class to the gym, where we promptly disbanded. Students found their friends, and so did I. Our spot was the corner of the bleachers all the way off to the side where we could chat in semi-privacy.

Amos, Chase, and Everett watched me climb up to join them.

“There he is,” Amos said. “I feel like we haven’t seen you in forever. What’ve you been up to?”

“Cleaning and party planning.”

“Exciting,” Everett deadpanned.

“Cleaning can be exciting,” Chase said. “I’ve found many a lost object.”

“You go on with your bad self.” Everett rolled his eyes, then turned back to me. “We tried calling you last night. You didn’t pick up.” He leaned forward, and I knew what was coming next. “Did you have a hot date?”

It was on the tip of my tongue, everything that’d been going down between Seamus and me. I wanted to tell my friends. That’s what friends were for! But I was so far down this lie, I couldn’t catch them up. I didn’t know where to start.

“I had a hot date with Dr. Frasier Crane.”

“J, this is your third binge rewatch ofFrasierin the past year. Do we need to have aFrasiervention?” Amos asked.

“What can I say? It’s a great show. As I get older, I identify more with Roz.”

“You should’ve gone out with us,” Everett said. “We went axe throwing! It’s half-off on Wednesdays.”

“As in, Everett almost sliced off half his finger,” Chase said.

I shuddered to think about my friends wielding deadly weapons. None of us would survive in a post-apocalyptic world.

“How was it?” I asked.

“Awesome! I let out so much rage about Cyllabus,” Amos said.

The batting cages were also good for letting out rage. I wanted to tell them that I’d hit a few balls—actually hit them—but that would lead into the big, bad secret I’d been keeping.

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