Page 98 of Romance Languages

“Eh, I have a better idea. Who needs bougie drinks?” Greg found a nearby liquor store and got a six-pack, and we hung by the docks drinking beer, four imperfect guys having a night to remember.

28

JULIAN

In twenty-four hours, I would officially be a thirty-five-year-old virgin. First, I had to get through my grandparents’ anniversary party with people asking me where my new boyfriend was.

It would be one hell of a weekend, emphasis on the hell.

I sat on the edge of my bed and put on my shoes. My bed was bigger and emptier with just me in it. Now that I’d had another guy in there, I knew what I was missing.

My phone buzzed with texts now that I’d reactivated the group chat.

Everett: I can pretend to be your boyfriend. I do a great Seamus impression.

Amos: I can strangely vouch for this. Don’t ask.

Julian: Appreciated, but not needed.

Everett: We’re here if you need us. Chase can create a diversion.

Chase: Why me?

Everett: You can use science to create a thick cloud, through which Julian can sneak out.

Chase: If I tried to point out all the flaws in that sentence, my thumbs would cramp up.

Everett: I’ve got more ideas if you need them, J.

I smiled at the screen. Why had I ever kept secrets from them? Not my finest hour.

Amos: How are you doing?

Julian: Hanging in there.

Amos: *Sends all the hugs*

Everett: *Sends all the martinis*

Chase: I believe what Everett is trying to convey is that we’re here if you need us. We can all go to the party together. We’ve all met your grandparents. Your grandmother once suggested to me that I should have a threesome.

Julian: Oh my God.

Chase: She said I seemed flexible.

Julian: OH MY GOD.

I buried my head in my pillow. Grandma never knew the meaning of too much. If she ever knew I was a virgin, she’d disown me or drag me to the nearest sex worker.

Amos: I hope you manage to have fun today, J.

Julian: I will. It’ll be good to see family.

In truth, I was an anxious wreck. People would likely ask about Seamus. Mom would likely say something that hit a nerve. We hadn’t spoken since our fight. I had to be numb. I was there to support my grandparents, who loved me dearly.

Everett: I think your grandmother was right. Chase gives off major threesome energy.

Chase: I doubt that. The closest I ever came was in elementary school when I was dared to shove two Twinkies in my mouth at once.

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