Page 37 of The Mayor and the Mystery Man

I bowed my head and sat on the bench with a dedication plaque from 1936. “I wish I had what you had. You have something you care about. You have something that literally gets you up in the morning.” I flung my head back and covered my eyes with my arm. I felt so ridiculously inadequate. “I have a trail of failures. Forty-two years on earth, and all I have are dead-end careers, belly-up businesses, and crushing debt. My apartment on Venice Beach was actually a tiny room I rent from three obnoxious twenty-somethings who spend every day playing video games and jerking off.”

I wanted to crawl into a hole. My life sounded even worse said aloud.

“I don’t think of you as a failure. I’ve always been a little envious.” Leo sat next to me, rubbed my shoulder.

“Bullshit.”

“Not bullshit. You’re a renaissance man. You’ve tried lots of different things. You know more than me about woodworking, sales, owning a business. You’ve taken risks, and that counts for something.”

I hated that Leo wasn’t being sarcastic and roasting me. The fact he was being genuine made me feel like an even bigger joke.

“I feel like a fucking disaster. Sometimes, I wonder why you’re even friends with me.” A chill ran up my back. I hated hearing these words, putting them out there. I looked down. I couldn’t let myself see his reaction.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you about those threesomes. It would make me seem even more like a mess of a person. Did you know that my ex-girlfriend left me for the other guy in the threesome? I was literally the odd man out. I didn’t want to lose any more of your respect.”

I couldn’t be here. Whatever Leo said to make me feel better, whatever non-sarcastic rebuttal he had, I couldn’t hear it. It’d hurt too much. So I got up and ran.

I ran faster than I had that morning. But my body wasn’t ready. A new kind of pain tore through my calves, the bad kind that sent alarms to my brain. I tried to keep running, but the agony ripped through my leg. I stumbled against a tree.

Leo jogged up to me and examined the scene of his friend slumped against a sapling with two pulled calf muscles. So much for making a grand escape.

“Well, for a supposedly straight man, you sure know how to make a dramatic exit.” He held in his laughter, barely. There wasn’t a hint of pity anywhere to be found on his face. “I probably should’ve told you that it’s best to start with a jog before breaking into a full sprint.”

“Fuck off.”

“Are you sure you want me to fuck off? You’re going to need someone to help you down.”

“See? I can’t even run away properly!” I broke out laughing, and then he followed. Our laughter echoed in the quiet forest.

“Are you done?” Leo came over and massaged my calf, getting the blood flowing. I hissed at the pain.

“If you want to leave me to die here, I’d understand.”

“When I’m finally gaining in the polls? Nah.” His strong hands breathed life into my leg. And other places. “Dust, I don’t call you my best friend just because it sounds cool. Yeah, so you aren’t some multi-millionaire CEO with a house on the beach. But you always pick up the phone when I call. And you flew across the country at the drop of a hat when I needed help. I’m lucky to have you in my life.”

Leo looked up at me, and behind his sarcastic grin were eyes blazing with intensity. We stayed locked in that moment; my heart pounded in my ears, and all my sexual fantasies about Leo came roaring back.

I pushed them away.

Leo needed me to win this election and save his career. For the first time, I could be the one to help him. I wasn’t going to fuck this up like everything else in my life.

He kneaded his fist into my calf.

“You’re good at this,” I said.

“I have practice.” He cleared his throat. “Over the summer, I pulled a glute during a run.”

“You pulled your ass running? Then how were you able to keep using Milkman?”

“I hooked up with very limber men.”

A bolt of jealousy lashed through me like I’d torn another muscle. Why did I suddenly care about Leo hooking up with other guys?

He gave my leg a final all-good slap. Wordlessly, Leo threw my arm around his shoulder, and we started the trek down the hill back to his house together.

10

LEO

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