Page 51 of The Falcon and the Foe

“I know it may seem like I’m overreacting, but you never know what could happen. I can’t live like that.”

“Isthisa way to live?”

I dug my heel into the dirt. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“I can’t sit here and say that’s not going to happen. It’s something in the back of my head about Josh, too. Every parent feels that way, but the trick is not to let your kids know you feel that way.” The corners of his mouth lifted in a slight smile. He put a hand on my forearm, which felt as comforting as a hug. “Living in fear isn’t living. Quentin is a good kid. And he is doing his best to stay out of trouble. As much as you want to protect him, you have to realize that there are a million things you can’t protect him from.”

“Is that supposed to cheer me up?”

Cal snorted. “I guess not.”

“Do you worry about Josh?”

“Of course. Worrying is like seventy percent of a parent’s job. But we can’t let them know that. That’s the balance. You have to worry, but give them the freedom to explore for themselves. Russ, if you keep flipping out at him, you’re going to push him away. Then you’ll really lose him.”

I rubbed a hand over my face. “This parenting stuff is hard.”

“Tell me about it.” Cal cracked a smile that sent warmth and comfort through me. I found myself really enjoying being around him. I wasn’t able to talk with my other parent friends this frankly. We were too busy one-upping each other and glazing on a perfect family facade.

The fire crackled between us. I clasped Cal’s hand, the one on my forearm, and smoothed my thumb over his calloused skin. “Thank you.”

He didn’t pull away. He leaned closer. “I thought you had everything down pat. I always thought you were this perfect model parent. But you’re just like the rest of us.”

“A mess?”

“Normal.”

* * *

The fire diedout a little bit later. I had everyone clean up the campsite thoroughly. Even though it was a closed site and the threat of large animals was minimal, I didn’t want to take chances. I could hear Cal in my head laughing at that thought.

I bet it would’ve been a great laugh.

Why was I thinking about Cal’s laugh and wanting to put my ear to his chest and feel the hearty vibrations?

I doused the campfire with water and tried to do the same for the fire building within me about my co-leader. We led a group walk to the bathroom to brush teeth and do a final bathroom trip. I tried to stretch out this bathroom excursion because afterward, what came next was the tent.

“Here we are,” Cal said outside our tent. He had pulled open the flaps and looked inside at the tight quarters. Our sleeping bags and pads both barely fit. Having two grown men inside of them would make the space even more claustrophobic, something that was causing my dick to tighten in my uniform.

I wondered what Cal was thinking, if he was dreading this like I should’ve been.

“Well, we better get to it.” Cal looked over his shoulder at me. “We have a long day ahead of us.”

Cal wore a pair of exercise shorts and flannel over a t-shirt; he didn’t realize how cold it would be in the morning. His hairy legs stood out, and the flannel pulled across his chest. My mouth went dry for a moment before drowning it with water from my canteen.

I clapped my hands. “Okay. Enough lollygagging.”

“I have gagged no lollies.”

“Then let’s get to bed. Like you said. We have a long day ahead of us.”

Cal had a sleepy look on his face that was endearing. Before I could think about it another moment, I climbed into my sleeping bag. That left little room for Cal to maneuver into his.

“Ow,” I said as he stepped on my leg while climbing into his bag.

“Sorry.” He swayed as he found his balance while squatting down. He fell against the side of the tent, leaning for balance. Only this wasn’t a wall.

“Watch it.” The tent shifted to the side, almost toppling.

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