Page 88 of The Falcon and the Foe

She darted back to her seat, a fake smile for her friends as if we were discussing Tupperware recommendations.

“Hey, did I miss the cheer yet?” Cal raced down the hall, still in his work uniform. He had taped a piece of green construction paper to his chest. It melted all my anger away.

“Nope. You’re early.”

“Well, how about that.”

My fingers danced around his. Touching and squeezing for a moment before anyone saw.

The class eventually went up and cheered their hearts out, and I could’ve sworn Josh was the loudest one of them all.

26

CAL

After the Spirit Day festivities, Quentin and Josh came up to Russ and me with a conspiratorial look in their eyes. They wanted to have a sleepover tonight.

Russ said yes since he’s Father of the Year, and I said yes because that’d mean I get the house to myself for a night.

The Friday night sky hung heavy with clouds, which threatened to cancel the boys’ plan to camp in the backyard. I packed extra clothes just in case they went for it. Josh and I watched the houses get nicer as we drove to the Ettingers’ abode. We lived on the old side of town, with houses that’d sprung up fifty years ago. On the other side of downtown Sourwood were new McMansion housing developments that had names like Brookhaven and Willow Trace. Many of Josh’s classmates lived on this side of town.

“I’m glad you and Quentin have become friends. He’s a good kid. I’m sorry I messed up the color for Spirit Day, but I’m glad he let you borrow his hat.” Something about car talk was inherently awkward. My parents tried to have heart-to-hearts with me during drives; it was like being locked in a fortress of metal and unable to escape.

“It was Scout Leader Russ’s hat,” he said. “He cheered me up.”

“He did?” Huh. Russ liked to act stern with the scouts, but he was a total softie at heart. He cared deeply for all of them.

“Are you and Scoutmaster Russ friends?”

“What? Are we—yeah. We’re friends.”

“How good of friends?” Josh asked in that pointed but aloof way kids lobbed questions without segues. They really should be recruited by the CIA for interrogation.

“We’re pretty good friends.”

“Are you like boyfriends?”

“What?” A shocked laugh burst out of me. I was again in a fortress of metal from which I could not escape. I was the parent. I should have the authority to shut this down. “Where are you coming up with this?”

“I don’t know.” But by his tone, he very much did know.

“What?” I asked with a hint of desperation.

“Just...like, the way you look at each other and are around each other. It’s very friendly.” Josh struggled for the words for something he probably didn’t quite understand yet. “It’s like the way I see other moms and dads sometimes, or people in movies.”

I felt a turn of guilt in my stomach. Josh had no reference point for his own family because I had kept other guys very much at bay. I thought I was doing the right thing, but maybe there was something missing with it being just the two of us.

“We’re friends, Josh. Sometimes friends give each other a pat on the back or touch each other in a friendly way.” I hoped I wasn’t inspiring Josh to start violating everyone’s personal space.

“He’s cool.”

“That he is.”

“You and him seem like really good friends. Like, you’re always having a good time together, even when you’re just standing around.” He shrugged again, not totally sure what he was saying.

To be fair, I was just as confused about our relationship.

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