Page 34 of His Loving Wife

I turn away from his voice, back to the open sea, and shout. “Noah!”

I spot his pale skin bobbing against the waves, and I start swimming in that direction. Long, deliberate strokes, like I used to do during my weekly swim sessions at the community center. After a few strokes, it feels like I’m getting nowhere. I dive beneath the water, thinking I might gain more distance that way.

When I rise for air, I hear Willow again.

“Mom, he’s right there.”

I swim rapidly toward him, until I feel my body crash into his. He grasps for me, but his life vest isn’t fitting properly, hindering his ability to swim. He’s panicking.

“I’m here, Noah,” I yell. “Try to stay calm.”

Hearing my voice, feeling my body beside his in the cold water, soothes him. His breathing becomes less haggard and his movements less frantic.

When I turn, I see we’ve already drifted at least ten feet from the boat. I’m trying to get closer, but it’s challenging when I’m swimming for both of us. Noah’s grip loosens, and I feel his arms gliding through the water beside me.

Up ahead, to my left, there’s the sound of something hitting the water. I see Willow has thrown over a life preserver, the other end still tied to the boat by a rope.

“Come on,” I encourage Noah, reaching out with all my strength to grab it.

After a few more seconds, my fingers finally reach it. I hold it for balance, using my other arm to bring Noah closer. I pull him in front of me, making sure he has a tight grasp on the preserver.

“We got it,” I shout.

Willow starts hauling, but it’s not enough. “Dad, pull them in while I lower the ladder.”

At last, Andrew moves. He pulls the rope closer to the boat, but he still has that stupefied expression on his face. By now, we’re within reach of the boat. Willow lowers the ladder. I allow Noah to climb up first, then me. He falls on his knees and coughs. A gulp of sea water splatters onto the deck.

“Are you okay?” Andrew asks. He kneels in front of our son. Whatever daze he was in is gone, and he looks genuinely worried.

“I’m fine,” he says, trying too hard to act as though what just happened wasn’t as scary as it was. His embarrassment acts as a sign that he’s okay.

“Mom?” Willow looks at me.

I’m drenched, shivering from a combination of adrenaline and panic. My breaths come in short, rushed bursts. My eyes focus on Andrew, and my anger renews.

“Let’s head back,” I pant between breaths.

Willow wraps a towel around my shoulders. She does the same to Noah. Andrew, at the wheel, starts up the engine. I watch him, trying to understand his reaction, why he did so little to help our son. I can’t imagine displaying that amount of passivity. It’s not in my nature, and yet seems to define his.

I close my eyes. I no longer wonder about the fear my father must have felt in his final moments, I realize.

I’ve just lived it.

Chapter 17

7 Months Ago

Kate’s favorite season had always been winter. Most people enjoy the freedom of summer, the colorful landscape of fall, the bright freshness of spring. Something about a new year brought Kate peace, always had. Outside, the skies were gray, cloudless. When she squinted, she could see snow flurries drifting to the ground, disappearing almost as soon as they hit the concrete. It wasn’t cold enough. Yet. By the end of the week, the temperatures would drop and the snow would build, each flake bonding to the other, until the roads were so thick with it they’d have to call off school. Kate liked having the children home with her. She enjoyed sending her students a message that said,Sleep in! Classes will resume next week. Days like that felt like a gift.

Kate was bundled in layers, a thick red scarf wrapped around her neck. The specks of snow that fell on her hair stayed there, wetting her strands. She moved quickly, both hands in her pockets, with Noah at her side. They were the only two people on the sidewalk as they walked from the car. That was another element of winter she enjoyed. Usually only the brave ventured out, and she was one of them. For a few, cold weeks, it was like she had the world all to herself.

“Let’s just go back home,” Noah said.

“Come on. I thought we agreed we’d do this together?”

“Youtold mewe’d do this together.”

“Hey.” Kate stood in front of her son and bent down, forcing him to look at her. “This will be good for both of us.”

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