Page 97 of Emerald

The yellow deepens, spreading slowly across zha’s limbs. Kroaicho's eyes shift back to me, a flicker of orange flashing across zha’s chest for the briefest second.

Without thinking, I blurt out, "Can I… touch you?"

I cringe, annoyed with myself, and waiting for zha to point out that I don’t allow the same.

The question hangs in the air between us, and for a moment, Kroaicho doesn't respond. Zha’s spikes twitch again, and I see the blue of confusion flash briefly before fading away. Finally, zha speaks.

"Yes."

I take a hesitant step forward, my hand trembling slightly as I reach out to press my palm gently against zha’s arm.

Kroaicho has held me tight, but I always turned my palms in, so I never really knew…

Zha’s skin is warm—softer than I expected, with a faint hum of energy beneath the surface. I can feel the rhythm of zha’s pulse, steady and strong.

Kroaicho watches me, zha’s eyes narrowing slightly as if it's studying my reaction. I run my fingers along the edge of one of zha’s spikes, marveling at how smooth zha is. There's a gentleness here, hidden beneath all the sharpness.

I pull my hand back, curiosity satisfied, but suddenly self-conscious of how unfair it is that mixed in with the good feelings is my mind wanting to pull away from the contact.

And then, out of nowhere, my own body reacts, lighting green, making me realize I haven’t been hounded by the arousal since zha used expellant on me.

I feel a surge of warmth flood through me, and I look down to see my skin glowing bright skin. This must be natural, then, and it catches me by surprise.

"You are green, Olivia,” Kroaicho says, zha’s voice betraying zha’s own surprise.

But when I look up, I see the answering green thrumming along all of zha’s limbs and segments.

Without another word, we turn and head toward the cave again, the green light still flickering softly across both of our bodies.

As we enter, zha’s pink eyes land on me with a surprising level of intensity and I feel my breath catch in my throat.

I hold up a hand. “First… what do you mean by a living hoard? People aren’t things, Kroaicho.”

Zha’s skin lights up purple. “Of course people are not things. I didn’t say that.”

I don’t really believe it. “I’ve been treated like a thing before you, Kroaicho.”

“I didn’t—”

“Let me explain,” I say, cutting zha off. “Well," I start, my voice shaky with uncertainty. "I guess… I should start from the beginning. I'm the youngest of four… uh, zhannel. Which is already a pain in the ass, but it gets worse. My siblings are all much older. One sister, two brothers. All from my mom's first marriage to this guy who, well, let's just say I’m glad wasn’t alive long."

Kroaicho listens intently, zha’s body shifting slightly, blue starting to light up on zha’s skin.

“He was rich… I mean, he had a giant hoard, but wasn’t my, uh... zhann. That was a maori guy. That's my biological father." I stop for a moment, my throat tightening as the weight of the truth settles in my chest. "I won’t ever know who he was."

Kroaicho's confusion deepens, the soft blue glow intensifying. Zha doesn't understand human relationships and I know I need to skip past all of that.

“My mum, my zhann, spent a lot of her… hoard trying to fix whatever is broken inside of me.”

For a moment, I'm lost in the memory of those days—sleepless nights, doctor's visits, the meds that turned me into a zombie, the never-ending exhaustion. And the constant guilt. Always the guilt.

"My siblings," I say, forcing the words out through clenched teeth, "they hated me for it. Because it was their inheritance. Most of the hoard came from their zhann, so they think I don't deserve any of it. As if I asked for that money, I mean hoard, to be used like that. After a while, it was clear that I was just a thing to spend money on until she fixed me. When I tried to leave, she would guilt me back into her life. Talk about her illness and how it was my fault and I’d end up caring for her."

Kroaicho's glow shifts again, a deep purple of irritation this time, as if zha is angry on my behalf. It gives me confidence to keep talking.

"They hate me, but they don't get it," I whisper, my voice barely audible now. "They don't understand what it's like to give up your life for someone. My mum… she could've hired help. She could've spared me from all of it, but she didn't. She expected me to be there for her no matter what. And I was. Because of guilt over money I didn’t ask to be spent in the first place.”

Kroaicho leans in slightly, zha’s glowing eyes locked onto mine. Zha doesn't interrupt, just listens, and for some reason, that makes it easier to keep going.

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