“I’ve been dodging that male for years. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to come here. He can’t get to me here.”
“Well, fuck,” Alice says.
I nod and grab the bottle, taking another drink. Exhaustion tugs at me, emotionally and mentally drained from telling the story and having to relive the memories. I am sure the tequila and my sexcapades with Connor have also sapped my strength, but I can barely keep my head up.
“When did you last see him?” Alice asks.
“Last year. I caught a glimpse of him in the town where I had settled, so I left.” I look at her. “Alice, you can’t tell.”
Alice nods. “I’ll take it to the grave.”
I sigh heavily. “Thank you.”
Alice and I finish off the bottle. The conversation is much lighter, and our friendship is stronger. When neither of us can keep our eyes open any longer, we get up and stumble to our rooms. I collapse into my own bed and pull the covers up around me. I glance at the closed box on the bedside table but decide that tonight is not the night for sinking into that loneliness.Tonight, I chose to be lonely, but something good came from it. At least, I hope it’s good. The vulnerability feels like oil against my skin, but the burden of my past feels a little lighter.
I roll onto my back and look up at the ceiling, letting my mind wander. I wonder again about that strange account that had watched all of my stories. Uneasiness settles on my shoulders. Could it be Torin? I grab my phone, tapping through my stories again. The account is still there and active. I thought it might have been flagged and taken down, but it is still there, even with the gray amorphous blob profile picture and the simple 1015 username. I shove my phone under my pillow and drift off, thinking about my mysterious watcher. But it’s not thoughts of Torin that haunt me tonight. Instead, it’s my stranger, and I don’t feel fear but excitement.
21
THA
She’s been busy. I slide my finger across my phone, glancing at the pictures she just posted. One was with her roommate, the two flipping off the camera with shots in their hands. My jaw ticks when the next is a blurry image of her and the boy. The following two are of her, the boy, and his brothers.
I click on the small icon and watch her stories, studying each one, learning and absorbing more. The first several areOutfit of the Dayvariations of her uniform, tiny accessories changing as I watch them. In the last, she’d left her hair unbraided, wearing it back in a ponytail for the first time. She must be getting comfortable.
Once I knew of her existence, I made a point to find out all I could about her. I know she had to conceal her heritage when she was growing up, and when others did find out, she was persecuted for it. I am surprised she has let her guard down so readily.
The following story is of her roommate and her with some sort of filter that gave them dog ears. The two are indeed an odd pair, but they have gotten close in the short time they’ve knowneach other. I study her face as she laughs with Alice. Very few haven’t heard the rumors of Elvira Alice Legosi. They call her Elvira the Impure and many other less charitable names. She is reviled by her people and more than a little murderous. Yet, she seems incredibly protective of her roommate.
I swipe through to the next story. Someone was filming her as she studied, slowly zooming in on her face. It took a while before she caught on and chased the person around to get her phone.
I wonder how well she did on her recent exam. She is very bright and has an affinity for runic languages that surpasses her peers.
She’s in the library now. That’s the third time today. She only does that when she’s feeling anxious. Does she sense there’s something wrong? That she’s living her days in idyllic comfort, but there’s somethingmoreshe’s missing?
The man tied to the chair whimpers and slouches forward. With my free hand, I yank the dagger out of his throat and lift his chin with the flat of the blade. His eyes lock on mine as the last lingering remnants of life leave his body. I want my face to be the last he sees.
I flick through her page again.Hmm.
An alert pops up on my phone. I frown and swipe it to check the spell, my fingertips leaving a smear of blood across the screen. I wait impatiently for the surveillance spell to appear. The runic network is a bit slower this far from Avalon, but eventually, a video feed appears, hovering over my phone, suspended in mid-air.
My eyes narrow when I see her pull that boy into the stacks. My screen cracks a little in my grip as I watch him lift her. Red clouds the edges of my vision when she wraps her legs around his waist, and he begins to fuck her. The only thing stopping mefrom completely shattering the phone is her eyes. They’re not filled with pleasure but frustration.
She’s not getting what she needs from the boy. But then, how could she? She is still only an echo, a partial silhouette of a person who is slowly coming to realize who she is. How can she fully surrender when she’s not even fully herself?
I close the security spell and grab the dead male’s shoulder. Shooting my power into him, he comes back from the beyond with a gasp of air. His blood stains his neck and the skin over his heart from all the other times I’d killed him over the last three days.
His eyes fill with tears.
I wave my knife at him, the blade dark with his blood. “Now, now. It’s no fun if you die on me so easily, is it? This time, we’ll make it last.”
His scream was heard for miles.
22
Summer
Iburst through the cantina doors at a near run toward Kelpie. Fear tightens my stomach, squeezing until I feel nauseous. A week. It’s only been a week of Connor and I settling into casually seeing each other. Though the only firm rule of ourrelationshipis that we don’t fuck anyone else, I have my own set of rules, all of which I have broken.