Page 186 of Blood & Betrayals

“Babe?” Connor asks when I don’t start talking. “What is it?”

“I…” I swallow. “I have this friend I talk to sometimes, and I didn’t tell you about them.”

Connor reaches out, twining a lock of my hair around his finger. “A friend?”

I nod.

“Okay, why didn’t you tell me about them?” Connor asks. Hurt shadows his eyes, and it fucking breaks me.

“Initially, because I found him very annoying. I couldn’t stand him, actually.”

Connor places his hand over mine. “Okay.”

“But there’s…” I begin, dropping my gaze to our hands. I am such a coward. I do not want to see the pain in his eyes. “Thereare things about me he understands, Con, and we’ve become friends.”

Connor slides his thumb over the back of my hand. “Things about you he understands?”

I nod, still unable to look at him.

“Things Iwon’tunderstand?” he asks.

I turn toward him and scoot closer, finally finding the courage to meet his gaze again. He locks his blue eyes on mine, trying to understand.

“Things I never want you to understand, big guy.”

Connor studies my face. “Does he help?”

I shake my head. “Youhelp. He just makes it seem like I’m not the only one that has these thoughts and feelings.”

Connor is silent for a minute, processing everything.

“Con?”

“Hm?” He strokes his thumb over my knuckles again.

“I love you, and if you want me to stop talking to him, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. No questions asked.”

Connor shakes his head. “I don’t want that. The part that gives me pause is that there are things you don’t want to share with me.”

I look away, feeling the shame overwhelm me. “Because they don’t matter when I’m with you.” He is my peace. He is perfect. I can’t tarnish his platinum soul with my inky black one.

“Will you… tell me about it? Someday?”

His request is so small and so kind, yet there is another question I need to ask before I agree to even that.

“If I do, will you still love me?”

Connor pulls me into his lap, and I wrap my arms around his neck. “Babe. I will always, always,alwayslove you.”

The sincerity in his eyes is undeniable, and I cup his cheek. “Then yes, Connor. Someday.”

Connor presses his forehead to mine. “He helps?”

I close my eyes. “You help,” I repeat.

“Will talking to him help you talk to me one day?” he asks, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

I exhale. “I think so.” I hope so.

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