Page 108 of Blood & Betrayals

Name: Connor Azrael Morningstar

Age: 8.5

Favorite color: I like the blue on the dress capes for the Legion!

Favorite food: My mom’s triple chocolate cake is the yummiest!

Best friend: My little brother Rafe and my dad

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be an archangel and I want to have a beautiful wife, just like my mom, who has the brightest wings!

My phone rings, and I glance at the screen, immediately answering when I see Alice’s face.

“Are you okay?” I ask in place of a greeting.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just thought I should check in,” Alice replies, and my whole body relaxes. “How’s it going with his family? Are you freaking out yet?”

My lips twitch as I look back at the profile. “Not yet,” I say, but uncertainty wiggles through me as I read it again. These are the words of a child, but at some point, he dreamed of being with an angel with bright wings. He wanted an affectionate, loving,and open woman, someone like his mom. None of those things are me.

“Al?”

“Yeah?”

“Nothing. I need to get ready to go out.” My lips curve in a smile, but I can feel myself shutting down. I try to stop it. The newly awakened part of me that craves connection and warmth screams to remain free. But the more dominant side of me has trained for decades to build walls the moment there is even the slightest risk of getting hurt, and it is already hard at work.

“Summer?” Alice asks, obviously having heard a shift in my tone.

“I’ll talk to you later.” I end the call, feeling like a dick, knowing that I shouldn’t have cut her off like that. Looking back down at the journal, the shroud of my impostor syndrome drapes over me, heavy and oppressive. This isn’t right. Something isn’t right. I don’t belong here. I’m a spore of negativity ready to latch onto the slightest ray of joy, to feed from it, and there is so much of it here, so much I could destroy.

I need to get out of here. I close the journal and quickly change before leaving Connor’s room and heading for the front door.

Connor catches me around the waist before I can escape, and I tense in his arms. “I was just about to come back up, babe. My mom just needed help with something.”

“So, where are we going?” I ask, carefully trying to shift out of his hold, desperate to get out of the house.

“Oh, you’re going to have the best time!” Farrah says, coming through from the kitchen. “If you’re scouting for future houses, make sure to look near to here! I want to be close to my grandbabies!”

My stomach twists, and I swallow, the reality of this weekend crashing down on me. I’m being unreasonable, but I can’t stop it. The panic has sunk its sharp claws into me, and I can’t escape.

“Mom, you’re going to freak her out,” Connor says, tightening his arms around me and kissing my head.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Farrah says, her face falling a little. The sight is so upsetting that my panic subsides a little.

“It’s okay. Honestly.” My words surprise even me, and the way my voice betrays none of my inner panic is borderline impressive.

“We’re just going to the edge of Heaven, and then we’ll be back,” Connor says, kissing my head again.

The edge of Heaven.The words prompt a visceral reaction. Eden is only a small part of the larger realm. It is home to the Heavenly Host, those who prepare for the inevitable war against Hell, but there is much more to the vast realm.

Uriel walks up behind Farrah, wrapping his arms around her.

“Oh, Uriel. Remember the first time you took me there?” she says, leaning back against him.

Uriel cups her chin in his big hand and tips her head back, feathering a kiss over her lips. “Yes. And I remember Michael catching us when we were?—”

Connor releases me to cover his ears. “Okay, we’re leaving!” he exclaims before lowering one of his hands to grab my wrist and yank me out of the house. I wave at Uriel and Farrah, but they are gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes, and I don’t think they notice.

The perfect moment between them amps up my panic again. That is what Connor wants, and it is what he deserves. That isn’t something I will ever be able to give him.

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