“Hmm,” he says, sucking a tooth grumpily. It seems the headmaster is having a bit of a rough morning. He stares at me a moment longer but finally sighs and closes his eyes. I watch as the glamour takes shape, and Connor appears before me. His eyes snap open, and he pulls Connor’s face into a sympathetic smile. “Ready, babe?” he asks in Connor’s voice, and I nod.
As we leave, the headmaster walks without touching me. I look around, and when I see we’re alone, I move closer to him. “Sir, if you’re going to convince people you’re Connor, you need to look like you actually like me.” He frowns at me in confusion. Inwardly, I roll my eyes that we didn’t prepare him better. I sigh and take his hand, guiding it around my waist. We walk onto the bustling quad just as he pulls me into his side. Everyone seems to go silent as we pass, and I look down at the ground, playing the grieving friend.
“Coffee, babe?” the headmaster asks, and I nod sadly.
He orders for us, casually just asking for theusual. The barista makes our coffees and passes them to us. The headmaster takes a sip and flinches. I fight back a smile at his grimace, the coffee obviously too sweet for him.
The headmaster pulls me against him as we walk toward my first class. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay home, babe?” he asks. His voice, while soft, carries through the unnatural quiet. Everyone is either silent as we pass or whispering to one another. Their stares slide over me, the pity making my skin crawl. As time has passed here at Avalon, people have stared less and less. It’s been a luxury, but now that I’m once again the object of everyone’s prying attention, I want to retreat back into myself.
We stop at the door to my first class, and he braces his hands on my shoulders, looking at me. It’s Connor’s eyes looking downat me, but it’s the headmaster’s stare. “We can leave right now if you want.”
I swallow, resisting the urge to scream. Yes, I want to go home. I want to be with Connor and Alice. I don’t want to be observed like a zoo animal, but I’m doing this for them, to protect them.
I nod and smile weakly up at him. “I’m okay, big guy.”
The headmaster squeezes my arms and presses a kiss to my forehead. He waits for me to step inside the classroom before striding down the hall. I sit in my usual spot and glance at Alice’s empty seat next to me. The sadness that overwhelms me is real.
The morning passes painfully slowly, and while I’m the object of everyone’s stares and whispers, no one talks to me. I’m not sure if they simply don’t know what to say or are afraid of me. But as I walk to the canteen, I’m excited to see the Morningstars, eager to be with people who won’t just gape at me.
As if my eyes are drawn to him, Connor is the first thing I see when I walk into the cafeteria. At that moment, I only see Connor, my gentle-giant big guy. I run to him and throw myself against his chest. He catches me, his arms wrapping around me, but it’s not Connor’s tender touch. It’s the rough one of the headmaster. I tense, wanting to let go, but at the same time, I know this looks good in terms of playing the part. More than anything, though, I long to be held, to shelter against his body and allow him to block me from all the stares.
“Come on, babe. Let’s go home for lunch,” he says. He carries me out of the canteen, but we don’t return to the Morningstars. When we’re out of sight, I feel the magic shift as he opens a portal at my back. I lift my head from his neck and disentangle myself from him. We are in his office, but I have never seen the couch he sets me down on. He stands and drops the glamour, shrugging it off like an ill-fitting coat.
“How has it been?” he asks, pushing his hands into his pockets.
I shake my head. “Awful. Everyone is just constantly staring at me.”
“I’ve not noticed anyone acting suspicious,” he says thoughtfully.
“I’m sorry for jumping on you, sir. I forgot?—”
The headmaster shrugs and holds up a hand to stop me. “It’s what you would have done with Mister Moringstar.” He paces. “We need to find a plan to draw them out. Observing isn’t enough.”
I curl up in the corner of the couch, resting my head against the arm and watching him pace. He doesn’t say anything, lost in his thoughts. I don’t interrupt him, feeling safe for the first time today. We stay like that until the sounds of students filter in from outside. The headmaster checks the time and replaces his glamor before weaving a portal to the back of the school.
“Ready, Miss Tuatha De Daanan?”
“Remember, you need to pretend like you actually like me,” I repeat, a gentle reminder.
He narrows his eyes. “I’m trying,” he hisses.
I bristle. “Time to be convincing,big guy,” I snap as we walk through the portal.
The headmaster’s gray eyes flash through Connor’s, and he growls softly, “Are you provoking me,babe?”
“No.” My cheeks heat, and I look away. The headmaster pulls me against him, gripping me harder than Connor ever would.
“Not very Connor of you,” I whisper.
“Good thing I’m not Connor,” he says, and I can hear him grind his teeth.
I look up at him. “You are right now,” I say, holding his gaze, refusing to back down. I don’t give a fuck if he doesn’t like me. He committed to this plan, so he’s going to fucking help me. I letthe irritation and anger simmer in me, grateful to feel anything other than fear and grief.
116
Summer
The headmaster deposits me at my class, saying goodbye to me at the door with all the emotion of a fucking tree before stiffly turning and striding down the hall. I hold back my eye roll at his barely veiled contempt for me and spend the whole class dreading seeing him again. At least I can occupy my mind with lessons and notetaking while pretending I don’t notice the stares and whispers.